We cheat ourselves that we marry for companionship. I am deeply convinced that we marry for sex. Religion too has never bothered to make things clear for couples intending to make it out in a relationship in that regard.
On the contrary, men (and women) are encouraged to marry without having “sampled” their partner’s honey to make sure that it is sweet and compatible – the synonym of the Swahili saying “kununua mbuzi ndani ya gunia”. Loosely translated, it means buying a goat inside a sack. What this means is the blind marriage contract or relationship where one hopes that the partner is sexually compatible only to be disappointed later when it is too late.
Numerous trips to your local padre will not solve a thing – it is like closing the gate after the horse has bolted.
In any case, your padre who has never been anyone’s husband (except for clandestine sexual stints), will not be of any help. One Man’s View goes against the grain – “sampling” your partner to me is perfectly normal. Gone are days when we married virgins (by the age of twelve, you-know-what).
Ok! A marriage or relationship without sex is dead. I believe that although people talk of happy sexless marriages (not in Africa), where mates shake hands and fall to sleep is nonexistent. Indeed, it’s hard to imagine a happy relationship between romantic partners without sex involved.
If it gets to this point and the other partner has not done anything to try to remedy the situation, it’s safe to say that your relationship has gone to dogs and they are ferociously mauling it. The more resentment there is, the more likely it is that the love has all but disappeared from that bond. This sometimes may result from a relationship where you have not “sampled” your partner!