A close buddy, during our youth, retained some of the best women any man could ask for – beautiful, intelligent, educated and loaded with dispositions and characters that would have led to immediate proposals and subsequent marriage to one of them. The kind of women any man would like to be the mother of his children. I also remember some good girls who fell by wayside in my life, some of whom I had imagined being the right wife material especially in college and immediately after.
I don’t mean that my current wife is lesser than these girls, but looking back, one of said women could easily have ended up as my life partner. My friend settled for a domineering and outright ugly woman. He later divorced and married another. I also have done a lot of trial and error marriages that I have come to conclusion that perhaps the partner that one settles for is predetermined by fate.
Let me explain. Sometimes, the woman a man ends up with never really fits the ideals that a man had envisaged – ideals of beauty, duty, and intelligence. Just like women love fantasizing the kind men only found in cheap romance novels – tall, dark, rich and with chivalry, so men imagine the kind of women they would give an arm to settle with.
That often does not occur. Here is a typical scenario; Life has a way of flinging you far away from your comfort zones be it work, study or business. Since you are a social being, you find yourself in the company of men and women. Generally, among the women in the group, you will find one woman who warms your heart whenever she’s around you. You are not sure whether it is love so you will tend to try to keep a polite distance.
A few things will however be noticeable. Even though she does not meet Miss Tanzania’s kind of beauty, she has this inner thing that you cannot really point at but are attracted to. By and by, you will start taking her out for dinner, and before you know it, you will start longing to see each other. By the end of the next three months, you will have invited her to your bachelor’s pad to spend steamy nights. She will desist from “shikamoo” greetings and new names such as sweetie, honey, baby, will creep into her vocabulary. To her family and friends, she will be referring to you as “my husband”.
Slowly, she will start “forgetting” her bras, panties and other women paraphernalia in your room. Another two months, she will drop the bombshell that she is pregnant. You will not be sure whether to keep or chuck her out. Since she is not a bad woman. You will keep her. The rest is history.