Why do Tanzanian men expect too much from their women?
In today’s column, I will not be bashing women but men reading this will be on the receiving end.
Tanzanian man is headed the wrong direction – towards extinction. Indeed, he is fast overtaking babies in the cradle in his crave for being pampered and being attended to, a shot away from being fed and dressed and draped in nappies. He may holler about his manhood but he is indeed a baby as reflected by his disposition.
While it is an old practice for men to expect good treatment from women, it comes to point where it becomes somewhat boring to the woman, probably causing resentments and anger. Tanzanian men expect so much from their women.
We need to be considerate of our women’s needs. A typical Tanzanian man will leave the office, make a stop-over at his favourite bar, gorge himself with the choicest meat and beer and trudge home to a very tired woman. He will still demand for food, fuss over this or that and end up in bed where he is expected to romp with the same tired woman. This routine does not take into account that the same woman has been working all day.
Anyway, let’s take an opposite scenario. A friend I know works for a very demanding company. He arrives at 10.00 after kids have gone to sleep. He hardly has time for lunch let alone a beer.
On Sundays, he has made it a day when he makes up for the family. Nobody, including the house help is supposed to cook. He does it (the man is an excellent cook). After lunch, being a superb guitarist, he will be training his kids on how to pluck guitar wires. That, to me is a good family.
The other side of the coin is disgusting. Let me advance the theory of ‘use and disuse’ further to illustrate. The more a bodily organ is put to use, the more it develops. Try not using your brains to troubleshoot your family’s problems and what you will have between your ears is thick mass purporting to be a brain but having the qualities of a cabbage (no offense intended).
We tire our women by expecting too much from them and giving too little. The outcome is that our women, out of the fear of losing you to other men-hungry women (and they are many), will overstretch themselves to the limits.
The main danger is that behind your back, you will be inviting infidelity. Another man who shows consideration, albeit a little – a man whose imagination is alive will certainly sweep her off the ground and you will be left a shell. You will remain a provider and not a husband. Think twice before you get to that level. Women are human beings too.