As a single and searching lady, most of the time it’s faith that keeps you going; let’s be honest with each other now, nobody wants to remain single forever, certainly not me. Just yesterday, a guy I have been seeing for the last couple of weeks proved to be just like all other guys that I have attempted to date: disappointing as hell.

If you were a fan of Disney stories then you know that Disney princesses from Cinderella to Sleeping Beauty, even Nala of The Lion King, teach us right from our childhood to look forward to some sort of ‘happily ever after’.

I remember as a child, playing house and insisting that I was a princess, I had a pink dress and a tiara to go with it, my world was magical and so full of possibilities. I wore my pink dress with a fairy wing and a tiara to every event I ever went to. Just as a child holds on to the idea of being a princess, we desperately cling onto the notion that ‘happily ever after’ would someday be ours.

As teenagers we claimed not to care about Prince Charming while we secretly screened each boyfriend, wondering if he was going to be the last man standing in our own charmed versions of a Disney romance. In college, we hoped to make our dreams come true but somehow Prince Charming kept slipping through our fingers.In your mid-20s you realise that the Prince is nothing short of a character in a child’s Disney storybook; he is a fantasy that exists in our teenage dreams.

Finding a Prince Charming and having a happily ever after is every woman’s dream. ‘Happily ever after’ is great and all, but how can you place so much happiness on something you haven’t even met yet? Every time you fuel the fire on achieving your own happy ending, you take away from the happiness you already have.

Unsure of what I mean? Let’s try relating this to something we can all understand – shoes.  Imagine that ever since you were a little girl all you’ve wanted was a pair of black Jimmy Choo’s and you always promised yourself that someday you would get one.

But as you’ve starved yourself to afford the shoes, you’ve been wearing a worn out pair of sneakers. Because you’re so fixated on the Jimmy Choos, you fail to realise just how great and comfortable your trusted sneakers have been. Just like with a happy ending, if you put too much significance on an end that hasn’t even happened yet, how can you expect anything before the end to be meaningful too?

It’s time that single girls everywhere forget the ‘happily ever after’ they’ve been trained to aim for and just enjoy the ride.The pain, the heartbreak, the awkward moments – it’s all just a part of the learning process. Take advantage of the fact that this time before the ‘happily ever after’ is your grace period. Make mistakes and do it for the sake of knowing that it’s not the end of the world if things don’t work out. Believe in a happy ending for yourself, but don’t make your life all about achieving it.

The more willing you are to enjoy the ride that is the dating world, the less you’re going to rely on the sturdy rock of a ‘happily ever after’ and realise that you can have a ‘happily ever present’.

Look, I know how cheesy that sounds but when you really think about it, nobody really ever knows what happened to those Disney princesses after their happy endings.

What if Cinderella got divorced when she realised she barely knew the prince? Or what if Sleeping Beauty’s realised she settled too quickly after waking from her slumber? The time leading up to the happy ending always seems to be the real story worth telling, so forget ‘happily ever after’ and just be happy where you are.

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