| I’m making a change hoping that it’ll last | Send to a friend |
| Saturday, 28 January 2012 11:07 |
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Why? Because besides the fact that a “year end” makes you back over your shoulder to count your losses since you know you’ve been spending more than you earn, as an adult, nothing new ever seems to come with the arrival of the so-called mwaka mpya. Well, years roll on – unazeeka – while in terms of mental growth you remain static, nay, you actually deteriorate. In terms of material wellbeing, things tend to worsen too, what with the price of every commodity and service going through the roof while your wages remain the same.But, as the wise say, never say never. You should never say you’re too disappointed with yourself to get reorganized, so your vow (read resolution) is that you’ll do all you can to spend less in 2012, especially at the “grocery”. Mark you, you aren’t saying you’ll drink less; no way! It is the spending. All you’ll do is hone your acting skills so that, say, when a man who you know should buy a drink walks into the grocery and heads to your table, you’ll quickly react by coming up with the time-tested, “tales of woe” tactic. “This is my year, brother! I’m telling you, this is my year!” you’ll tell, say, Fred, even before responding to his greetings. “What is it, my brother?” he’s sure to ask, the good old friend that he is. “I’ve lost yet another father of mine!” “Another father? You mean…” Fred is not an alien to your family. He knew your father who passed away several years ago. Actually, he was part of the burial committee.“I mean my uncle … he was my late father’s closet brother and ever since the old man returned to his Maker, the guy has been like a real father to me.” It’s true a death has occurred at a village neighbouring yours back home, involving an old man you somehow know – you learnt about it thanks to an announcement you heard accidentally on Radio One – but that’s about all. Fred is likely to be touched and will forget all about the beers you owe him and he’ll instead buy you one or two warm ones. He might even offer you ubani – condolence money. As you drink the free beer, your mind will be singing the Extra Bongo’s song ‘Mjini Mipango (You got to be clever if you live in the city!). This year, you’ll continue to prefer the counter in order to avoid a table accommodating, say ten drinkers who consider the idea of each person buying his own bottle an unpardonable social crime. But then, even when you unwittingly end up at such a table, when the moment comes when members are now expecting you to “pour” a round like everybody else, you’ll pull a fast one, like telling a lie that your wallet was stolen as you rode on a daladala. Or claim that all the ATM outlets you tried in the afternoon weren’t working, damn them! This year, you’ll continue to pray that receptions for the send-off and weddings you’ve been forced to contribute for take place at venues that are reachable by daladala, the only means of transport Wa Muyanza and his ilk can afford. Your informants have revealed to you that clever wedding/send-off committees pick venues that ensure only hardcore party animals can bother to attend. Like collecting michango from your washkaji in Gongo la Mboto and hosting your reception in Bagamoyo! Of course, you’ll also continue praying that you’ll soon muster the courage to stop drinking, kabisa, not because of some sinister doctor’s orders, but out of a realisation that a man can actually do without booze, even when his wallet is full or some washikaji are willing to buy. Lastly, you’ve also resolved to continue praying for some of your old buddies who drink much as they shouldn’t drink, to abdicate, because it’s clear booze doesn’t like them the way they like booze. Yes, if you drink and end up fighting the person you should hug and kiss, drive when you should be driven, sleep when you should be working, then, brother/sister, stop drinking! That’s is my prayer for you and one of my 2012 resolutions. Otherwise, once again, have a happy and prosperous 2012. This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites           |
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