| Are you in love or in like? | Send to a friend |
| Saturday, 11 February 2012 11:52 |
|
Okay here is the lowdown: The 28-year young woman named Folu has been involved in a series of bad relationships, where she found herself giving away emotionally more than she received. Anyway, after dating a scumbag named Bode for over two years, who seemed to have taken delight in cheating on her and dangling a relationship on a string, our heroine began to realise that the feeling of being in love is “overrated” and is the most “negligible consideration in looking for a mate.” Folu then met her fiancé Tayo, with whom she has been dating and engaged to for 11-months. While Tayo, who is a born-again Christian, meets one of her requirements, he doesn’t dress nice, doesn’t offer intellectual stimulation and is not really physically attractive enough to get her excited. In short, Tayo is boring. However, Folu claims that with him, she has found her peace and joy. So what is it about Tayo that makes her believe that he is the one, despite not being the one that makes her heart go pitter-patter? Well, in short, he is nice to her. He does stuff like pick her up from the airport, something her former lover Bode would never do, and makes her feel safe, secure, pampered and cared for. And although Folu does not love Tayo, she is convinced that eventually she could, especially after they consummate their relationship. According to Folu, “He might not be able to make my heart do somersaults, but of this I am sure: I am with the man God selected and handpicked for me.” Clearly, this girl has settled.” There is no way to verify the authenticity of this letter; however, let’s assume for the purpose of this column that it is true. From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t matter what the media says about the probability of marriage for Black women; life is too short to be with someone, who you sort of, kind of, maybe “like.” But that’s just my thing and if she is as truly happy and content as she says she is, than who am I to judge? With that said, I do wonder if there is a variable to this whole love thing that we are all missing here? Maybe Folu has it figured out. Perhaps we give up on the ones that we feel are not the “one” too soon because they don’t give us butterflies, the moon and the stars every time we are around them. Hell, I know from experience that most of the guys that gave me butterflies also were the ones that gave me the most heartache too. Maybe searching for love is overrated. Maybe what we think is love is just based on fleeting moment of loneliness or lust. Perhaps we spend so much time creating the most intricate emotional check list of what our potential soul mate is suppose to be that we fail to see what has been staring us right in front of our faces: the boring and safe guy. They say that love is all about chemistry but some folks do choose to be in love, if they can find someone they are compatible with including shared future goals. After the physical attraction, sexual energy and those pesky butterflies flutter away, and all you are left with is just a man (or woman). However it is the chemistry of love, which draws us to a person in the first place. Whether it be a person’s looks or personality or a dozen other traits in a person we find attractive. And it will be those traits in which we look back on and hold on to when the endorphins wears off and we begin to settle into a relationship. Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites           |
Latest News
Most Read
Gallery