I am a university graduate who has decided to volunteer at one of the children centres in Temeke, Dar es Salaam while waiting to get a permanent job. I have been enjoying working and being around these young people. However, some of them are very unruly and I don’t understand why. Now, I can’t help but feel like I should not have accepted an invitation to volunteer.  Patience.

Dear Patience,
It is such a great thing that you decided to give back to the disadvantaged, and it’s good that you enjoy your experience. Stubbornness among toddlers can be a positive thing, but by the time the child reaches school age,

unruly behaviour is a problem for parents, teachers and others. The first step in correcting this problem is by admitting that sometimes our own methods of dealing with children probably allow them to become unruly and by altering them, we can help our child behave appropriately.

It is important that we set clear boundaries and stick to them. Children need to know the exact behaviour standards expected of them. Child experts tell us that children actually want boundaries, and that once firmly established; most children will respect the rules.

Make very few threats but carry through on those you make. It’s easy to warn a child that he’ll go to bed without supper if he doesn’t clean his room but when you give in and feed him, you’re sending the message that you don’t really mean what you say. If you aren’t ready to act on your threat then don’t make it.

 You don’t have to plan activities for every minute of the day, just taking them along when you run errands or allowing them to continue with their own work while you carry out some of your chores creates a feeling of togetherness and may reduce unruly behaviour that stems from insecurity.
Set reasonable results-oriented punishments.

All children are different and one child may respond quickly if the punishment is grounding while another might need his allowance reduced.

Avoid using chores as a punishment. Children should do chores without pay as part of being in a family.
Reward those that show good behaviour, positive reinforcement carries a strong message to children. Children who receive praise for good acts try harder to behave.

If you have a burning question, send it to: powere@tz.nationmedia

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