By Joseph Mtebe, Success Correspondent
When I closed my other facebook account, which was known to all my friends, everyone was shocked. It didn’t help matters when I said it was for the sake of my privacy, future and career.

“You mean to tell us lawyers don’t facebook?” some people joked.  Others said my conduct was “so yesterday”. But I needed no facebook account to feel I also belong to the 21st century. Deep down I knew my life was possible without facebook.

Unfortunately, facebook is just a necessary evil like many others. And so, I am back, in full swing. Now, the problem is that people either ignore my ‘friend’ requests or reject them because they think I had blocked them in the first place.

But to be precise, it is matters of the heart that got me back on facebook. ‘Lady Luck’ smiled at me lately. I am glad to announce that I will soon be changing my relationship status on facebook from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ but until that happens, it is still ‘ complicated’.

There is not one girl in my life but two. These are Jacque and Irene. They are on facebook, and tricked me to join too.

“Why don’t you join facebook? Don’t be such a damper,”
I met Irene during a students’ week in Dar last year. She is a smart girl, and is techno savvy. She knows just everything and is studying medicine. Being around her, you always feel like you’re around Condolleza Rice.

More charming, submissive
Jacque also has own specialty. She is more charming, submissive and is constantly texting and calling me, which is a sign she is really into me. Above all, she is humble. Although I have known her since A-level, it is only recently that we’ve happened to be this intimate.

Now, I bowed down to the pressure to rejoin facebook, and both girls immediately sent me ‘friend’ requests, which I gladly accepted. We’ve been chatting all the times, but trouble commenced recently after I posted something.
“…wish the lecturer hadn’t av turned up in the 1st place, it’s boring,” that was during a 5.30 to 7.30 pm class. There was a fleet of responses, including Irene’s and Jacque’s.

Irene: wat’s up hun

Jacque: sweetheart, you’ve not stopped being lazy?

On seeing this live collision, I deleted the post and removed the comments. Jacque inboxed me immediately.
“Mtebe, who is Irene to you that she even calls you honey?”  
“She is just a friend,” I said.

I was struggling to believe I had managed to convince Jacque when Irene also came to inbox.

Delete every post
“You don’t have to go through all the trouble deleting everything I post on your wall. You just tell me and I will stop to.”

I had another hard day explaining that with my new account I just don’t leave posts on my wall for long, I delete them soon after they are posted.

She agreed and I thought for once that I was the hero. But the next thing I saw the following day I logged into facebook was that, “Jacque and Irene are now friends.” I almost fainted.

“Guess what? I befriended her, Jacque,” said the techno-savvy Irene.

“Why?” I asked. “Nothing, really, I just thought this way we can straighten things up.”

I grudgingly said Ok. But none of the two have been politely communicating to me ever since. The only logical explanation is that they have talked it over and have conspired to set me up. I am waiting for D-Day.
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