What would the world be without wedding receptions!

One glorious Saturday afternoon in the early 80s in Dar es Salaam I wed a beautiful Bongoland lady at the then small Evangelical Lutheran Church structure at Msasani. After the church ceremony my convoy, of borrowed vehicles, snaked its way to the then quiet and leafy Leaders Club in Kinondoni.

The ‘wahengas’ will recall that the Leaders Club of those years was indeed a club for leaders in the then Mwalimu Nyerere’s government. That is where one could come across ministers, permanent secretaries, chief executives of public and private institutions and intelligence chiefs sipping their poisons on those verdant gardens under leafy mango and jacaranda trees. Non Club Members were a rare species in the premises unless invited. I must have been the first non-club member not only to be invited but to hold a public event there. But then being a scribe for the government-run Daily News might have opened the gates of the club for me. Anyway that is a story for another day.

The highlight, or rather the surprise for me and my newly acquired spouse, was when we strolled into the Club premises. My wedding committee members, led by none other than the late Balozi Cisco Mtiro, mounted what was similar to the military wedding arch of sabers (swords) ceremony. Only that in my case it was not an arch of sabers, rather it was an arch of mortuary cold safari beer bottles.

To say the least I was embarrassed and worried. What did my new wife think of me and my friends? Passing under that arch I could tell that I was in for my first post wedding dressing down. It did not help matters that my in-laws were rather a very God fearing people. Well as they say the rest is history.

This episode revisited my mind the other day when a young colleague, a member of my local -- let us call him Ralph Imma -- the famous Njiro-based 100% Pub, in the suburbs of Arusha, got married. His wedding committee spent some generous amount of time debating on how to solve a major problem. Apparently, the bridegroom’s no-nonsense staunch moralist God fearing born again mother would not allow even a whiff of alcohol into the post wedding ceremony hall.

The notorious gang of the 100% devised an ingenious method whereby spirits, whiskies and other strong alcoholic drinks were smuggled into the hall and stored under tables earmarked for the members. As the ceremony went on the members could be seen mixing their poisons with either water or the many sodas and sipping them quietly. Many were surprised when in due course the members were very excited and enjoying every passing minute.

It gets even weirder, the members and the newlyweds in tow all trooped back to the 100% pub for another session which resulted in their being very tired and emotional, as the British would say. Even more intriguing is when I visited the joint next morning and found the bridegroom getting an alcoholic pick-up and informed me that he was recuperating before leaving for his honeymoon the following morning.

Indeed I salute him and wish him all the best. But then imagine what the world would be like without weddings, the ceremonies where two people are united in marriage. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, rings, symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority, religious, traditional figure or celebrant. One common factor in all these is the popular use of wedding rings.

Wikipedia explains that the use of a wedding ring has long been part of religious weddings in Europe and America, but the origin of the tradition is unclear. One possibility is the Roman belief in the Vena Amoris, which was believed to be a blood vessel that ran from the fourth finger (ring finger) directly to the heart. Thus, when a couple wore rings on this finger, their hearts were connected.

Under the circumstances, I have a message to all married men and women: If you do not believe in this Vena Amoris theory, try putting off or lose your wedding ring. That is when you will know what runs in the heart of your spouse. It is much worse than when passing under the wedding arch of beers.