| Talking Gender:Trapped between rock and hard surface | Send to a friend |
| Saturday, 21 January 2012 19:14 |
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By Sharifa Kalokola Is it not shocking that in these times there are people who are practising arranged marriages? Apparently, the arranged marriage culture is still a reality in many Tanzanian societies, despite its consequences. Saida*, a 15-year-old girl from rural Tanga had a marriage arranged for her by her parents last year. The man was more than twice her age. “Everything happened so fast that before I even had time to think about it, I was married off for a few thousand shillings,” she says. Her marriage lasted two months. The pair divorced due to “irreconcilable differences”. She considers herself lucky because at least she could manage to free herself. Many young girls are often trapped between hard and rock surface when it comes to arranged marriages. They want out of loveless, often abusive matrimony, but they find no way out due to fears of societal stigma and uncertainty of the future as single mothers. “I got out of the marriage after only two months, but it has been a painful year as I recalled the experiences I had.” Saida says she had little choice in the marriage. The young girl had failed school. Marriage, the way out “Growing up, we were taught that marriage is the way out for girls in my situation. That is why I never opposed the idea of marriage, though I had no say in selecting the partner.” “I was groomed to be a housewife. I knew how to cook ugali for seven people at the tender age of 10,” she says. It’s not only Saida, who was raised in such situation. Her classmates also loved the idea of marriage. “Some even deliberately fail studies to fast track marriage.” But after the colourful wedding parties, all the attention gone, reality checks in, and what they craved for gradually becomes a nightmare. “They want out but there is no way out. I feel I had a rare opportunity to start my life on a fresh page,” says Saida, who is back with her parents at their home, waiting for another marriage proposal, she quickly adds. She does not really understand how she could be better off if she had gone back to school. Maybe it is high time the authorities and girl child support networks broadened their scope and worked harder on such issues affecting young rural girls. ENDS Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites           |
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