| Women quitting jobs because of marriages | Send to a friend |
| Sunday, 11 July 2010 10:30 |
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The other day I attended a fancy wedding in Dar es Salaam, and ended up getting disappointed. Not because the wedding lacked in anything, as food and entertainment was in abundance, but because I learnt that the bride had just quit her job to make a home. Khadija* the bride, who is a science graduate worked as a nutritional officer for two years after completing university. You would think that being in a career that was so marketable in the country, she would have felt privileged and pushed on with her dreams. But NO, the 27-year-old decided she had had enough of the working world, and quit when her wealthy husband proposed. “I work in Lindi and him in Dar es Salaam what would be the point of me continuing to work and living far away from him? Besides he earns much higher than me. What I get is like adding a cup of water to a lake?” she defends. I was unappeased by her pleas. Why couldn't Khadija’s husband have relocated his practice to Lindi to allow her to pursue her dreams? Or why can’t she look for a job in Dar es Salaam if distance is the problem? I would not be so concerned if I hadn’t known Khadija for sometime. We are friends. We went to college together and I remember her big dreams of excelling in her career vividly. I remember the times at campus when we had to spend sleepless nights studying for exams so that we can make it big in life. Is it worth it giving up all the hardwork, for a ring on your finger? And so easily? Granted, Khadija holds the destiny to her own life. She should know what is really important to her and is at liberty to choose what suits and makes her happy. In fact, I should be excited about her decision, if only history did not bear me out. That a lot of women who have no money of their own, end up miserable in their marriages, and with no power to make any decision even on their own life, is something that cannot be contested. And why should a woman always make the sacrifices? Sadly, she is not alone. There are loads of women who turn their careers down once wedding dates are fixed. Mostly, traditional gender roles that define a woman as one who is always ready for the husband with a hot meal at the door are to blame. Education statistics show that enrollment of girls at school is on the rise. But whether these girls make it to the job market and manage to make something out of their career is another question. Our socialisation is also a problem. In many societies in Tanzania the boy child is encouraged to play the dominant male role—a provider— while the girl child is taught to be submissive. Moreover, this problem starts at the family level; parents are to be blamed for standing and watching as their daughters’ ambitions get ruined. It is true that there are a number of women in the country who are making it in top careers. But these are few and far between. If we are going to create role models for our young girls we will need to increase the number of women in the top echelons. Otherwise, they will grow up believing that bagging a rich husband is the ultimate career. And we all know that this does not add up to the country’s development. That’s why our society must change and help more females to achieve their dreams. Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites           |
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