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The holidays are here. And to make sure your children have a fabulous time, you might consider taking them for a holiday. And why not, you think? It helps with the bonding session and helps everyone take a breather.
But if you have been on holiday with children before you know that it’s not always fun, especially if you hadn’t planned well and the entertainment menu leaves the kids pulling faces.
There are three secrets to enjoying a family holiday. These are talking, negotiating and learning to share and care.
Finding just the right destination that will thrill and provide entertainment for all the family members. This means considering such things as the ages of the family members and whether they could participate in some, if not all of the amenities provided.
Even though children complain, a cycling, hiking or a camping holiday may teach them something about self-sufficiency, sharing and caring and even how to survive in an emergency.
Not your thing? A motoring holiday may, at first thought may be an easy way of having a holiday together. Wrong. From their tired irritations to the constant bickering, children find hours spent cooped up in the back of a car or camper so hard to take they will punish the parents one way or other.
Single activity holidays and interests such as sports pursuits, horse-riding, painting or farming can work well.
What about multi-interest holidays? Holiday camps, water resorts and a trip to the Serengeti work provided your children are independent.
Here is the plan:
1. Sit down as a family and ask each person in turn what they want to get out of the holiday, and why. The answers will be most enlightening and irrespective of the childs age, they will react positively to the fact that they are being treated as an equal. By acknowledging this and giving this aspect a tangible quality, they will feel that they are important and being considered and approach the holiday as a worthwhile happy experience. Everyone gains something.
2. Children (especially adolescent and teenage) who have objections to going along with the family can be won round by either being offered a special bribe (something that you know they want) as a reward for contributing to the holiday happiness (just by being there) of the rest of the family members, or, alternatively a surprise gift which could be anything from two tickets to a concert or show to a special outfit, CD or Music Download.
3. Deciding together round the table upon something that each person can choose from a list of, say, three items for the rest of the family to join them doing during the holiday. This encourages each person to contribute towards the happy and contented experiences of each family member.
4. Every day starts with a truce. Nothing is carried forward to the next day from the day before. No sulking or tantrums. Any problems must be talked out between all the family members until a solution is found.
5. Every day each member of the family must sit together at mealtimes (at least for breakfast and evening meal) and contribute one topic of conversation. Positive speak spreads positive feelings and thoughts.
6. Find something to laugh about each day that is not to do with the family members. Each person is required to tell the family what they found difficult about the days experiences first and then, what they enjoyed.
7. When you do have something that you are not happy about, either a criticism of one of the family members and their behaviour or something that is bothering you from outside the family, state what you dont like in a calm and value free voice, honestly but not emotionally. Your aim is to tell the offender calmly and quietly what is wrong and why, and how this has affected you and made you feel. Criticising the offender will only put their back up or make them feel shamed, embarrassed or humiliated, criticised or ridiculed.
8. Me time is very important for all family holidays. Getting the opportunity for each family member to do something on their own (supervised in a play group if young) allows them time to think and enjoy space, a break from the communal aspects of the family group.
9. When you return from your holiday, build a photo album or a scrapbook of the holiday together as a family experience. This is like giving positive feedback to each other and reminding each of you about your happy experiences together.
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