The things that men do but hush up

There is no doubt that we love our wives and girlfriends and would certainly desire to be transparent about our deeds and misdeeds to them. Ideally, this is what is supposed to happen, but in reality, this never happens and remains hushed up, lest relationships go up in smoke.

Sample this: You are a man not given to sowing wild seeds, and the very idea of cheating on your wife is anathema. Yet it has happened. You have boarded a morning flight to Mwanza to take on an assignment.

You are booked at a hotel where you leave your belongings, and since you have a day to yourself, you saunter into a bar for a drink.

A barmaid in a blue uniform proceeds to serve you cold drinks, and since you are new to the place and need companionship, you offer her a drink and another. It's lunchtime, and you order a large tilapia and ugali, which you share. It is afternoon, and you continue with your drinking spree.

The young lady partakes of the same. By 4 p.m., you are tired and jokingly tell her your hotel and room number. You tell her to meet you and automatically forget about it.

At 11 in the night, the watchman knocks at your door. He notifies you that you have a visitor. You ransack your brain and cannot remember knowing anyone in Mwanza.

Anyway, you take your lift downstairs, and oh, the barmaid you left at the bar is here, all dressed up better than a bank teller. You debate whether to let her in, but being a man, you finally allow her in. You spend the night with her amid some uncertainty about whether your deeds are right.

The next morning, she dresses up, and you take her to the restaurant, where she eats a hearty breakfast. She does not even ask for a dime, and therefore, you feel obliged to give her “something.” You meet the next day and repeat the motions. 

All that time, you have been calling your wife, and as she blows kisses in the air, your heart is laden with guilt. This continues for some three or four days, and it is time to go back home.

She escorts you to the airport, her eyes teary, telling you how she loves you and would like you to marry her, even as a second wife. You politely decline.

As you enter the airport lounge, she waves, and you wave back, knowing very well that someone is waiting for you. You feel so bad because, for a week, you have been betraying the one you love!