THE PUB: Watching VPL duel at the grocery gets dangerous
The Vodacom Premier League continues. It’s charming the nation while providing a distraction from the monotony of election campaigns. You’re enjoying it. Which is why you’ve to be at some grocery, piga ua, to watch “your” team play—against any other. Meanwhile, you wait with bated breath for that day of real reckoning—October 18—when Simba will face arch-rivals Yanga.
But why the grocery when you can afford an Azam bundle and watch the VPL matches from the comfort of your sitting room? The answer is: at the grocery you’ve the pleasure of watching the action with other football enthusiasts while enjoying a drink. This is where you can cheer or jeer with others.
And it’s crazy! We’ve guys here who ignore what’s happening on the screen, dedicating their time teasing their rivals. Or, giving a critique of this or that player; the type that are overly keen on showcasing their assumed great knowledge on matters pertaining to football. They posture as qualified commentators to rival our homemade TV analysts who are clad in design suits giving the impression they aren’t operating under the tropical African sky. Uzungu!
You’re here today in the company of your good old Uncle Kich—including, of course—other football lovers watching this match which is pitting fresh entrants to this season’s VPL, Gwambina FC. Uncle Kich is more familiar with football matters than you are, so you request that he tells you about these Gwambinas, for you know not a thing about them.
Wearing his trademark grin, he informs you with an air of importance that these boys are a Mwanza-based team that almost defeated Simba in a friendly last year.
“When they played Simba in January last year in Mwanza, they led by scoring first before the Msimbazi boys equalised with difficulties—so don’t underrate them!” says Uncle.
Next to you, there’s this neighbour fellow who is so fanatical towards Simba, probably more fanatical than the whole legion of other anti-Yanga army put together. Which is fine, for ours is a free country and in any case, football fanaticism has never led to a civil war anywhere.
But then, he’s not just watching and commenting on the match! He’s gesturing wildly and unwittingly hit-ting fellow viewers including those who are behind him, those to his left, to his right, in front of him…
There’re times he elbows you to draw your attention to what’s taking place on the screen, like he feels you can’t see things unless he prods you.
There’re times he stands up shouting his head off as he celebrates a save by his side. At the end of the game in which Simba emerges winners by 3-0, there is a consensus, especially from drinkers who are Yanga supporters, that Gwambina, is a team to watch.
As we leave, Uncle Kich is complaining of painful ribs and an aching shoulder due to slaps, punches and elbow hits from his fellow Simba fan. Watching football in groceries can be deadly too, apparently.
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