What aspect of a woman’s life do we put value on?

What makes a woman? Is it her gender? Her position in the society or her job? Or is it the ability to have children or how she takes good care of her husband and the family? Or the way she talks? The amount of money she makes? Or the way she walks or the ability to tolerate and stay reserved? Is it because of how sexy she appears or how she keeps herself look ing smart no matter the situation she is dealing with?

These questions and many more are the descriptions used to explain the accomplishment of a woman.

Women are being judged by the society in different ways, there are those who think a woman should do all house activities, managing the family and being good to every person around.

Being able to support the husband if married and being smart enough to give advice, taking care of children and other members of the extended family without complaining and without making everyone unhappy, to be able to give birth, and to have children of different genders.

In religious perspective, a woman came from Adam, she came from a man’s rib. A woman is also portrayed as the one who was used by the devil to sin and that has been interpreted to mean that the devil used her because she was weak.

“The bible says because a woman was first cheated by the devil, so she will be ruled by a man, it also says a woman was born for a man and not vice versa,” says Pastor Nimrod Swai from City Light Temple Church in Matosa. He adds that the bible went ahead to state that a woman should be reserved and submissive and obedient to man.

The society on the other hand has classified women into different categories, woman as a mother, a wife, a boss, an employee or employer, the bearer of children and many others.

The following are the perspective of different people on how they define a woman.

Eugenia Clemence a resident of Dar es Salaam says a woman is defined by her formation, a woman is a grown female being, she is defined by her biological features, it is the way she was created by God,“a female” being that is enough to be called a woman.

Eugenia who is a mother, a wife and an employee in one of the insurance companies in Dar es Salaam explained that community has so many perceptions of what a woman is supposed to be but they have forgotten that she is a human being and she has the right to choose who she wants to become.

“A woman cannot be defined by what she does or what she has, that is people’s perception and cannot be the reality, no one has the right to determine what an accomplished woman is,” says Eugenia

She added that, a woman can change according to the environment, if she is supposed to be a boss, she can change into a tough and responsible boss, and if she wants to be a mother she can regulate her self to become a polite and caring mother, she can also make herself a good wife.

“A woman can be everything she wants but it doesn’t mean that is what defines her, the only thing that defines her is her female being, the society should stop putting definition of the woman they want, let them choose what they want to be,” she added.

Noela Emanuel, a wife and a mother says a woman must not necessarily have children to be called a woman.

“A woman should not be characterized by her ability to bear children, a woman is a female being that is mature enough to take care of herself and make her own decisions of what she wants to be,” she added.

She explained that even the bible doesn’t describe a woman by what she has or her ability to have children.

Kamal Kashoro, a resident of Dar es Salaam says a woman is God’s creation who was made from a man’s ribs.

“Defining a woman in other perspective like the way she behaves or dresses is social perspective and they differ due to the history of different communities and their behaviours,” he says.

He noted that, for example among the Indian community, a woman is the one who pays bride price for the husband, that means she is the one who has the power to decide whether she wants that man or not but in our African setups, a man is the one who marries.

“Also in some communities, women are the ones who have the right to own family property, but in other communities men have the right to own land and other valuable properties in the family,” he added.

He said that social classification of gender, norms and gender stereotypes is built by a given society, we differ on how we perceive women but that is not what defines a woman.

“A real woman is the one who is capable of taking good care of her spouse, she should be ready to assume her responsibility as a house maker,” says Justin Makweta.

“She should be able to take care of her family and assist her spouse in every situation and be a perfect example for her children,” added Mr Makweta

Justin who comes from the southern highlands of Tanzania added that a woman was created by God to be a man’s helper, so she is supposed to help her man both financially and emotionally.

“A woman should be able to carry herself as an example to the family, she should be submissive, caring, emotional and respectful, and she must set good example to the young girls and her own children and inspire them to do good things.” “They say, behind every successful man there is strong woman, so again a woman should be strong enough to beat all challenges and encourage her husband to work hard,” he added.

Ms Grace Munisi, the senior technical advisor at Engender Health Tanzania, a Non Governmental Organisation says a woman is defined by her biological makeup; she is a woman because she has certain biological features.

“Other definition are community based which differs from one community to another, they want a woman to become what they want, they want her to be useful according to their desire,” says Ms Munisi.

Society should stop trying to define or figure the kind of woman they want, she was created by God the way she is and it should stay that way.

“These definitions make women more vulnerable, some women lose confidence of doing great things or stand out by their decision by fearing how society will define them,” she added.