Couples can be differently disposed in religion

I remember reading somewhere in psychology books that human beings are products of both nature and nurture. Let me clear the wind for you.

Nature because each one of us has a set of genes inherited from our parents, and nurture because we grew up in diverse environments and are exposed to worldviews differently.

These two dictate our dispositions and how we behave. Now, since not even identical twins can have completely the same set of behaviours, it follows that your spouse or woman has a completely different way of seeing things.  When you face north, she faces south.

The same follows when it comes to religious dispositions. The last time I was seen in a church was the day when a man was faced with the hardest one-day charade called a wedding some years back.

I won’t say much about it but now I know how hard it is for politicians and celebrities whose faces have developed a fake permanent smile. That is a story for another day.

My woman, on the other hand, is a serious religious adherent who is the secretary of the entire district’s children’s ministry, a leader of this or that in church circles.  

Freedom to worship or not

The late Kenya’s scholar of African religious philosophy, Prof Mbiti, said that Africans are notoriously religious. In my humble opinion, women are notoriously religious, seeking quick-fix solutions from without.

There are more women than men trooping to churches of dubious probity (to quote the late journo Karl Lyimo), churches that preach water and drink wine.

In my humble way of seeing things, there are so many expectations that a woman should (and must) follow her husband’s religious convictions without questioning or vice versa.

That is a wrong assumption, considering that she is not a child. As I said earlier, forcing a grownup person to hug your beliefs is like forcing one to swallow a maize cob.

Even when it comes to children, one can only guide. Morally speaking, it is the right thing to do, but legally and philosophically, it is wrong.

I, however, have a selfish reason why I would love to see my woman preoccupied with the church, and I hope she is not reading this. I would hate to have a bar-hopping woman for a wife like a friend of mine.

Imagine looking for your bar-crawler woman in the bars in a place where everyone knows you! What if you found her in the arms of that dirty mason who has recently been hovering around your house?

My friend and his wife are always fighting.  The other selfish reason is that, although it is not her nature to be drawn to pettiness.