LOVE LETTERS TO TANZANIA: Love your father? Drag him to the doctor’s

Families around the world celebrated Father’s Day last weekend, and an increasing number of Tanzanians are now also embracing this special day.

Multiple theories exist about where Father’s Day, the third Sunday in June, originated.

Some believe a Washington woman, whose mother died in childbirth, decided to honour her father who raised her and her siblings as a single parent.

Others think the tradition was born after a mine explosion in West Virginia, when a day was set aside to honour the men who died, many of whom were fathers.

Since its inception a century ago, the commemorative day has grown. As family men around the world began to evolve from once somewhat distant providers into loving fathers, increasingly sharing domestic and parenting duties, the annual ritual began to gain popularity.

Some Tanzanian organisations use this relatively new trend to annually remind men of their responsibilities towards their families – to warn that they should be true partners of women in all matters related to the welfare of their families.

For me, Father’s Day brings back memories of my own dad. He passed away much too young: in his fifties, after years of health issues typical of men of his generation. He will be sorely missed until the day I die. The man whose flaws and strengths I have inherited was neither rich nor famous, but left a dad-shaped hole in my heart.

Like for many of his unassuming working-class contemporaries, the world view with which my father had grown up was radically changed by the women’s liberation movement of the 1960s and 1970s. Women’s lives slowly but surely began to improve as they fought for equality. There is still a long road ahead though, especially as the progress made has not reached all women equally and females are still underrepresented in the top levels of corporate and political governance.

However, while initiatives to improve women’s health have become top priorities in civilised societies, the fate of many men of my father’s generation suggests that men’s health initiatives are lagging behind. We want men to accept responsibility for the welfare of their families, but what about their own wellbeing?

Global statistics paint a worrying picture about the state of men’s health. Men are more likely to develop serious health problems than women and have a much higher death rate from the most common causes of death. This gender health gap exists in developing as well as industrialised countries.

Men outnumber women in non-gender-related deaths like lung cancer, heart disease, liver disease, diabetes, colon cancer, HIV/AIDS, strokes and suicide. They seek medical help less frequently and often do not consult a doctor until their illness is in its later stages. Expected to be resilient, they tend to worry that admitting to feeling unwell undermines their masculinity. Especially when experiencing emotional problems, men often hide their vulnerabilities, numbing pain with alcohol rather than disclosing their worries to friends.

The “stronger sex” are traditionally the ones in high-risk jobs which pose dangers to their health in mining, charcoal production, logging or construction, but part of the gender health gap also reflects lifestyle choices, including diet, alcohol and exercise. Especially amongst young men, risk-taking and destructive behaviours further contribute to high rates of trauma, serious injury and death.

It is time we talk about men’s health. In order to take care of their families, many men need to learn to look after themselves first. They need safe and healthy workplaces and healthy attitudes towards self-care. They need strong bonds with supportive friends in whom they can confide and with whom they can proudly eat vegetables without feeling emasculated. They need education about sexual health and male role models who visit the doctor instead of minimizing symptoms.

Let us not wait for the next Father’s Day to talk about the health and wellbeing of Tanzania’s fathers.