LOVE LETTERS TO TANZANIA: FACING PAINFUL TRUTHS UNITEDLY

Throughout 2017, a disturbing issue kept reappearing in the news. Numerous sex abuse scandals and a series of related criminal convictions revealed a culture of sexual abuse in industries across the globe. Although the allegations against a prominent Hollywood producer attracted the most attention, even religious and government institutions to which we entrust our children were implicated. Politicians engaged in and admitted to sexual assault and football coaches, police officers, teachers and a gymnastics national team doctor pleaded guilty to staggering counts of sexual assault and rape of children.

No country seems immune to such crimes. Shocking numbers of individuals and institutions enable or are negligent in preventing sexual abuse, so victims often suffer in silence, too afraid to come forward. Powerful abusers have ways of suppressing the truth: intimidation, shaming or paying off victims.

Entrenched abuse of power is a sad reality, but why do regular citizens help perpetrators sweep incidents of sexual abuse under the carpet, trivialise rape or serious sexual assault and shamelessly exploit the occasional false accusation to blame victims or label criminal investigations “witch hunts”? Why do criminal justice systems treat victims poorly? Why do legal representatives defend and further enable influential abusers - until allegations become convictions and they scramble to save their own reputation by distancing themselves from the criminals who paid them?

Ordinary citizens like to believe that sexually motivated crimes happen “elsewhere”, in other cultures, and that local sporting heroes or favoured politicians are infallible. The ugly truth is that people we know and trust may be involved in the abuse of millions of victims across the globe – some of them children. That even adult victims are afraid to speak up shows that they no longer trust society to uphold their right to dignity and to freedom from degrading treatment. Power trumps human rights: a sad state of affairs.

Why are the majority of citizens who condemn sexual violence women? Do the media prioritise their voices or do most males remain silent? If so, why? Are they afraid that disclosing crimes of some members of the male species would reflect badly upon all men? Are they not outraged at the possibility of their own daughters, wives, mothers, sisters and sons becoming victims? Sexual abuse harms victims physically and psychologically, contributing to drug abuse and suicide – especially when victims are disbelieved and blamed.

Should the next generation fear silent enablers as much as they fear sexual predators? We should not be left wondering how many voiceless men may believe that women and children simply exist to satisfy male needs. We need to hear men reassure us that rape and sexual abuse are not indicative of masculinity but aberrations. To heal society, more men must resolve to explicitly condemn sexually motivated crimes - all men! Not just journalists whose profession entails exposing the latest scandal or politicians hoping to capitalise on opponents’ misconduct.

Hollywood is not the only hierarchy in which the powerful sexually exploit young people, including men and boys. Admitting to the existence of such abuse does not damage a civilised society as much as denial, inaction and the appalling silence of witnesses and inadvertent enablers. If we trivialise or ignore cruel and violent behaviours, perpetrators will continue to abuse weaker members of society. Our ashamed silence undermines our collective sense of safety and encourages women and girls in particular to mistrust men – all men.

To restore trust, pathetic excuses for sexually motivated crimes must stop. We need to hear the voices of men who are repulsed by rape, sexual intimidation and assault.

May 2018 be the year of billions of men speaking out against sexual abuse, a year in which not just husbands, fathers and brothers condemn rogue male behaviour – decisively and bravely!