Blending tradition with modern technology

Back in the 80s, if you had a crush on someone, letting them know was through letter writing.

This has since changed given technological advancement. Today’s young generation has a wide range of online platforms to choose from. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, you name it.

Some find partners through the platforms and some of the relationships lead to marriage. Despite these developments however, there still are people who have not been lucky enough to find love anywhere.

But all is not lost. They could look at www. mchumba.co.tz, which is match-making website, whose objective is to connect those looking for love. Mchumba is Swahili for fiancée, which is the ultimate goal of many.

Mwanahamisi Singano, a holder of a Masters of Arts degree in Sociology from the University of Dar es Salaam, came up with the idea to help deal with the problem. She says getting a life partner today has proved to be a challenge for many.

“There are people who are ending up marrying anyone available just for the sake of having a partner. I came up with the idea after realising there was a need for such a linkage. We live in a world where our social cycles are becoming really small. We spend a significant amount of time at work, after which we either go home or hang out with friends and sometimes find it hard to find partners of our choice.”

Mwanahamisi thinks living with someone you don’t love is the worst mistake most people do. The outcome is the high level of marriage crisis and divorces that we are witnessing today.

The Citizen reported in 2017 that “2014/15 National Panel Survey carried out on Tanzania’s households by the National Bureau of Statistics shows that the rate of divorce has doubled within the last six years (by survey date), a situation that threatens the future of marriage.”

The survey also shows that out of 100 people who are marriageable, 40 are not yet married. Besides, four couples out of 100 have separated, meaning their chances of divorce increase if a lasting solution is not found to iron out their differences.

Given that people are turning to dating websites to meet new people in the quest of finding partners, Mwanahamisi cautions about people with fake identities on some dating sites.

“This is among the reasons for developing Mchumba match-making website. The website, which is in the trial stage is expected to offer Tanzanian men and women the opportunity to meet potential partners in a more professional and systematic way. We are blending traditional approaches with modern technology,” she adds.

Mchumba uses technology to capture clients’ information and to automatically match them. “The site works as a system code and matches different traits of individuals and ranks compatibility. Then we crosscheck to clear errors and then link the most compatible clients,” she explains.

Clients will be required to fill in a free online application with accurate information and qualities of the partners they desire. They then will have to pay Sh20,000 to book their first consultation online. This will be followed by attending one and a half hours sessions for Mchumba team to verify their information, understand their behaviour and ambitions.

During these sessions a client will be given the opportunity to determine whether they are ready to proceed or not. The fee to be on the programme is Sh150,000, after which one will be matched with one potential partner per month and attend one to one relationship coaching for three months.

“Before being matched, all clients will be interviewed face to face or by video calls and their information will be verified. This is to ensure that there is no fake identity, no cheating or lies in the process.”

Clients will be given support throughout the process - relationship coaching, sexual and reproductive health training and counselling.

Mwanahamisi thinks there is a need to push the idea through the minds of local users and is goodetermined to engage Tanzanian community to see the value of ‘Mchumba’ match-making website.

Traditionally, parents selected partners for their children based on their own values not the values and aspiration of the ‘potential partners’.

“We believe we will not only match partners, but we will as well nurture happy marriages and build peaceful families. Marriage is an important institution and the legitimate place for reproduction. However, the question has always been who marries who? And that is where Mchumba match-making website comes in,” she says.

Dar es Salaam-based sociologist, Daniel Marandu thinks there is no problem finding love online since the people we meet online are the same people we live with. He too cautions desperate love searchers to exercise great care in picking their choices as some might not be genuine.

“Everything in life has two sides, the good and the bad. The same applies with online dating and match-making. People need to be very careful and distinguish an online friend with a quest to fulfil sexual desires from one with genuine love.”

Philbert Komu, a University of Dar es Salaam lecturer does not buy the online dating idea. He says our culture encourages getting acquainted to someone we know well. “Knowing the background of the other family is crucial,” he argues.

“As a father I have the responsibility to explain to my children the importance of making healthy relations and of making sure that love relations don’t turn out to be too artificial, too materialistic and certainly too mechanistic as to find partners from the website.”

Naima Shuwesh from Keko shares the same sentiment. For her, most online partners are too fake to be trusted; they upload fake identities with beautifully edited photos and what they post online does not reflect the real life they are living.

“I prefer meeting a prospective partner in person. I don’t believe in on online dating or match-making,” says the single lady.

Getting a partner online does not bother Rakesh Singh , a worker at Century Cinemax in the city. To him, it is just an extra platform to meet new people and find partners. Rakesh says most victims of such kinds of relationships are young and immature people.

“Every coin has two sides, it depends on how luck you are,” says Rakesh.

Veronica Deus, on the other hand is happy about the match-making website. She says the website will help people who are too busy to socialise.

“Online dating saves time as you do the search, arrange dates, and agree on where and when to meet online. It is also easier to communicate for the shy ones like me,” she says.

Godius Rweyongeza thinks online dating is as time consuming as normal dating as it requires browsing through the profiles.

“Also it is very unfortunate that most people lie through online profiles and chatting. what you see is not what you get most times,” says the third year Sokoine University of Agriculture student.

Godius adds, “It’s common that most young men look for partners online, for the sake of sex. They perceive that girls on dating sites are not wife material but an instant tool for sexual gratification. “Personally I cannot go for it since I have certain values that I look for in a partner. It’s impossible to weigh these through online forums,” he notes.

Given Edward, 24, doubts the concept of meeting a partner online. He is pessimistic about it because he hasn’t heard a lot of success stories here.

“It is risky and I personally have never thought of dating someone online because you cannot verify the person is who they say they are, or whether anything they say is true,” notes the student at African Leadership University.

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