My life story on how I struggled in south africa

On the 5th of January 2015, I moved to Johannesburg, after I had signed a 5-year modeling contract with Boss Model Johannesburg.

Little did I know in the fashion industry one only gets paid 90 days after the day when the job was done. I had a small amount I acquired from a donation from family and friends when I asked them to help me chase and realise my dreams.

The first 8 months I got one gig, the maximum pay for the show was about 2000 Rand (around Sh300,000) after deductions, that was end of January.

Days and weeks passed I started looking for a part time job to help me cover my living expenses like rent, food, casting (auditions) fare.

I ended up paying for interviews and never got the job, I was looking to be a sales consultant. After spending a couple of 200 Rand for job applications I decided to stop looking.

I started reading a lot of books online that cost me data and electricity and the little money I had left. Sometimes I had to choose between buying food or pay for electricity. I eventually stopped having them both. My reality was worsening by the day but the business and self-development books made me stronger mentally and I was ready to figure it all out.

I was not ready to quit since I had just started my journey, eventually my money ran dry and the battle officially began.

For over 3 weeks I kept confiding in my father, family and friends complaining about how tough it was and everyone kept urging me to keep going.

At the end of March I called my uncle who’s a Priest living in Canada. I asked him to assist me with some amount for pocket money because now I didn’t have anything at all. He sent me some money so I decided to look for a very cheap place to stay and keep pushing.

I shared a room with a Zambian woman who worked as a sales consultant. We lived like family and she would be there for me like my big sister.

Same week I moved I started looking for a part-time job again, I had not booked any gig and it was April now.

There was a voice-over studio called Ear Candy looking for artists who could speak fluent Swahili, I went and auditioned.

I got the job, which remunerated fairly enough for me to have casting fare, food and pay my rent on time.

Few more months went by and it was June. I couldn’t believe that it was possible to not have booked any job for such a long time.

Self-doubt

I went to my Agency so I could have a one-on-one conversation with my bookers because I felt maybe something was wrong with me that’s why I wasn’t getting any gigs.

I felt like maybe I didn’t belong there and I thought maybe I am not able to model as I thought.

Madam Debora Bernard, who was then working as one of my bookers openly told me that;

“You are different, there is really nothing wrong with you except the fact that although the industry tries to represent all women, all colours, when they have to choose between a lighter skin tone girl and a darker skin tone for a black person they would quickly go for a darker skin tone, which leaves you out.”

She continued; “I hear and understand you but you have to be patient and keep showing up, showing your talent beware of certain looks that make you stand out more. One day there will be a client who specifically wants you.”

That renewed my hope. I went home knowing I have to persevere.

A month later I changed my hair colour to Platinum blonde. I immediately got a casting for Cell C. They liked my hair style and colour. I was getting about 27000 Rands (around Sh420,000) after agency deduction and VAT which was to be paid in November because I shot the commercial in August.

End of September that year the recording studio was closing on the Swahili Projects so my part-time job came to an end.

I had to find another voice-over company because now I knew it was possible and I could use my voice as a means of survival while I chase my dreams.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find a constant paying job that I did not have to wait for over 2 weeks to get paid, life became really hard.

In mid-November I officially started working as a hostess in well-known clubs In Johannesburg. I would work from 11pm to 4am for 3 weeks. It was now end of November I got paid for my first commercial. The next month (December 2015) I decided to come back home,

I explained to my mother how hard it was and how I didn’t wish to go back and she advised me to go back and try again for a full year and a half then if it doesn’t work I should come back home.

January 2016 I went back again to Johannesburg. I rented a room in a 4 bedroom house at a college students’ area, it was affordable at the time.

I also went back to work in a club and now it was fulltime because I would get so tired and barely slept. I couldn’t attend castings anymore. Two months went by, things were quickly falling apart again. I reached a point where I couldn’t afford paying rent. The club didn’t make me enough money than just for food and to get by. Since I couldn’t pay rent I lost the place end of February 2016.

Fortunately enough my best friend had a neighbour who was no longer living in his room and he had turned it into storage. He secured me a deal to pay 1000 Rands a month as I kept working at the club.

In April 2016 I got tired of working at the club. I sensed I was losing sight of what brought me to Johannesburg.

I started withering away from constantly being in the club late. I wanted to quit.

I spoke to the modeling agency and asked if I could move to Cape Town and try a different market. They agreed.

May of 2016 I moved to Cape Town and signed under Full Circle model management, popularly known as The Circle.

I shared a room with my best friend who also moved to Cape Town same time as me.

I had no part-time job or any means of financial support. I was lucky to have booked some campaigns the first few weeks when I arrived and I paid my rent two months in advance so the only struggle was just food and sometimes money for casting fare.

We struggled a lot, stayed long periods of time, sometimes a week without eating, we would just live on water and bananas. I lost a lot of weight from not eating and the stress that I was going through, sometimes I would walk 2 hours to get to a casting while I have not eaten.

I had no money at all, eventually around November I got a waitressing job.

Cape Town being a tourist city, it was easy to work at the hospitality field with no education or training.

The only requirement is that you be nice to customers, listen carefully to their orders and be professional. I worked for a month until December 2016.

Although I got featured on magazines, campaigns and big international TV commercials, I didn’t make a lot of money. I returned to Johannesburg in January 2017.

At the time I had built a lot of confidence, I was now more experienced than before.

Magazines in Johannesburg wanted to work with me, clients were now more interested in me so I worked there for 4 months then travelled back to Tanzania May 2017, where I stayed for 3 months until August 2017.

Later, Full Circle Cape Town contacted me asking me to go back for another season. I ended up working and staying in Cape Town. For two months they paid for my rent and grocery provision so I was sorted on that front.

In October 2017 I booked for the first time to walk for SA Fashion week where I worked for designers like Thebe Magugu, Richi Mnisi, Matsho and Woolworths.

Things worked a lot better in the industry and my hope and determination was freshly renewed

I moved back to Johannesburg and started living with my model friend. I then started preparing Tanzanian food like Wali Maharage (Rice and Beans), Dagaa (Sardines), along with Mboga za majani (greens) and sold to Tanzanians I knew around the area.

The money flow had run dry again, two months passed, I and my friend lost the house we were living in for failure to pay rent.

We ended up completely outside and had to sleep at a Bus Park. I will never forget on March 12, 2018 it clocked 11pm and we still hadn’t found anywhere to sleep and we couldn’t go back to the Bus station. We went and slept outside the house we lived before, on the stairs because at least that was the only safe place at night, considering how unsafe Johannesburg can get. At that point I had hit rock bottom.

The next day I remember bumping into a compatriot who offered to provide shelter for me and my friend. He considered me a sister and promised to never let me struggle alone. That was my saving grace.

This new arrangement enabled me to save some money for my expansion as a model.

I was then able to get a new 8 months modeling contract in Cape Town with Fusion Model Management.

They paid for my rent and life kept going, but I was still unsatisfied within, despite my struggle, I still hadn’t received any lucrative deal.

On January 2019 the agency wanted to end the contract prematurely, stating that things hadn’t worked out as they hoped. I asked them to give me one more month to prove myself. In February I was given a week’s eviction notice.

I was dejected and I remember crying all night, wondering what my next move would be. I needed a miracle. Just as it seemed like all hope was lost, a day before my eviction my agency sent me a message informing me that I had been booked for a commercial, which paid over 100,000 Rands (around Sh16 million). The contract will run for 2 years.

A silver lining

Suddenly my hope was revived. This marked a new beginning for me. I was now able to plan for my future, continue my entrepreneurship endeavours, such as investing in my swimwear line, and also start a production company line.

I’d like to thank everyone who believed in my struggle. To family and friends that stuck by my side, I cannot thank you enough.

I have big plans within the modeling industry. I want to be the voice for other Tanzanian models who also have a dream of making it in the industry in South Africa. They should know the reality on the ground and not have misguided expectations.

My four years in South Africa have been a struggle but yet very liberating, it has been really hard and so worth it.

Additional reporting by Mpoki Thomson. Email: [email protected]