CANDID TALK: Hon Tajiri Tumbo Kubwa is a mobile medical dictionary
My Uswaz MP Hon Dr Tajiri Tumbo Kubwa is a now a mobile medical case. Those in the know hint that he suffers all rich men’s diseases. Besides gout that cause him to wobble like an elephant on cocaine, caused by wolfing roast goat meat and swilling gallons of beer in Dodoma, he now suffers hyperglycemia (read high blood sugar), hypoglycemia (low sugar), hypertension, hypo-tension, schizophrenia, cirrhosis of the liver and allied diseases.
Ever since the Hallowed House in Dodoma went ablaze with his fellow MPs baying for his blood - demanding for his resignation from his position as a cabinet minister Tumbo Kubwa’s body systems have almost come to a grind. The whole life of me, I have never at any time associated health with ministerial positions, but now I know better. My drinking buddy Dr Winchinslauss Rwegoshora (BA, MA, PhD) reckons that it’s the time Tumbo exited his position as the local MP. That would mean one vacant seat that would allow Winch to sail through.
Besides enjoying taking long naps in the House and getting paid for it, Hon Tajiri Tumbo Kubwa is a happy-go-lucky man with access to untold “resources” siphoned from the exchequer.
The other MPs were not amused because the man has been ravenously “eating” public funds. I know that I would be the happiest man if I were to find myself sitting on one of those sleep-inducing red chairs, occasionally tapping the table whenever I am not snoozing away.
He drove around in several petrol guzzling monsters, wined and dined in exclusive joints, maintained a harem of breathing buxton women and lived in the plushiest parts of Dar es Salaam – until the hammer fell last week. He was thrown out kicking. Anyway, the guy who keeps the government books after doing some audit, came to conclusion that the guy Tumbo Kubwa has spirited away several million dollars and amassed wealth at the expense of fellow Uswahilinites.
Well, I really do not give a hoot about Hon Tumbo Kubwa, after all I have never voted for him. The hammer has fallen. This does not mean that he will suffer the wrath of the likes of us suffer in this God-forsaken Uswaz. We suffer all manner of diseases – poor men’s diseases that include TB, HIV/aids, malnutrition and devil-knows-what diseases.
Maybe it is the time my buddy Winch clinched a ministerial position instead of Tumbo. I know he owes me one – I would be appointed his Public Relations Officer (PRO).
