We met online, and now we are happily married

Many married couples today have sweet memories of the very first time they met their Mr or Mrs Right. For some it was on campus, when they were still young and restless students, while for others it was at a friend’s party or a wedding or even the workplace that has also become a breeding ground for long lasting romance. Then there are some who met in church, and before long, brother and sister were in each other’s arms. These are the traditional places where we often discover our soul mates.

But for a growing number of Tanzanians, where Ben meets Betty is no longer just your usual type of rendezvous; with more than 6 million Tanzanians now spending quality time on the Internet, according to latest statistics by the Tanzania Communications Regulatory Authority (TCRA), the rules of dating have also changed.

What used to be considered a habit of the Westerners only, that two people can meet online, become friends and have a real, happy marriage, is no longer foreign. There are now many locals who have proven that online dating can actually be more romantic, and best of all, end up in a lasting relationship.

As Husna Hilal would tell you, online dating is not as bad as many people would want you to believe. She tells Sound Living that the very first time she met her husband was not at a friend’s wedding, but in the virtual world.

Like many of the conservative us, Husna had her misgivings about the whole idea of online dating. She never thought it could work. But after she met the man of her dreams online, and got deeply involved emotionally, she has a different opinion.

“It all started as a no-strings-attached friendship on Facebook. We used to chat a lot. Our friendship then grew stronger and stronger, and later we mutually felt that we needed to know each other better. So, we had to meet physically,” she recalls.

The rest is history. The two are now happily married.

For Husna, it all caught her unawares. From mere hellos to the point where they started getting worried about each other when one stopped communicating, it reached a point where they couldn’t go through a day without spending quality time chatting online.

Interestingly, the two agreed to have a relationship deeper than friendship, and later marriage before they met each other physically.

“We first met on the day he came with his entourage to pay dowry at our home in Dar es Salaam. He was living in Arusha by then,” says Husna.

So, it was through Facebook that the two used to send each other some photos. When they felt like talking they would call each other through mobile phone.

“One day he asked me to pay his brother a visit. The brother was working with the Tanzania Revenue Authority (TRA) in Dar es Salaam. I later came to know that it wasn’t his call,” she says.

Did that discourage her? Not at all. “His brother wanted to physically meet me after he heard of our story, and take that opportunity to ask me a few questions regarding our online affair,” say Husna.

She explains that it was clear that her brother in-law wanted to be certain that the two could love each other so deeply after meeting online only.

“So, he got straight to the point and asked me if I was really in love with his young brother. I told him confidently that I was,” she says.

The first meeting

On the day they finally met for the first time, there was a lot of anxiety. It was at Mwenge in Dar es Salaam, and Husna wanted to meet his future husband first before he met her parents.

“The moment we saw each other, we ran towards each other and hugged long – like two people who had lost each other for a very long time. It was all like a scene from a movie for me,” she says.

Proceedings of the day went on well, sealing their love with vows as their relatives supported them. Then wedding bells rang and on October 7, 2011, the two tied the knot.

“By then I was working with Feza Girls Schools in Dar es Salaam. He was staying in Arusha. So, I decided to quit my job and join my husband. The following day we travelled to Arusha,” she says.

It was a new beginning for the two after dating online for almost a year. The two have been blessed with one child.

“To be honest our love is just as strong as it has always been since the old days when we used to chat online,” she explains.

Husna adds: “One day I asked him why he sent me a request for friendship. He says he doesn’t know exactly what happened that day, but there was something deep in his heart that told him I was his future wife.”  

Not an isolated case

Diku Binde also met his better half online. It was in 2008 on www.marafiki.com when she met Christon Vegula. “Just like most couples who first met online, we were just normal friends, chatting, exchanging ideas, and generally interacting with each other,” she recalls.

But Diku confesses that she had worries about befriending someone you have never met. So, she decided to not tell the truth about some facts about herself.

So, she gave herself a false status. For example, she pretended that she was a Form Four failure who by then was living in Mbagala with her parents while studying a secretarial course down town.

“The truth is I was a student at Tumaini University pursuing a degree in cultural anthropology and tourism. But it did not take long before Christon caught me. He used to ask me so many questions, and somehow knew I was lying to him about my status,” she recalls.

After chatting online for a long while, Christon invited Diku to his office. It was the first time the two met. “I was very excited to meet him. I thanked God my imaginations were close to reality.

“The way I had imagined he looked, or his personality was more or less like what he turned out to be. From there, we became closer and closer. In 2009, he proposed. He was very straight with me,” says Diku, now a mother of one.

Their parents did not have any qualms about how they had met. Instead, “they received the news positively, though they asked us if we had known each other long enough”.

Says Diku: “Here we are now, living happily together. Thanks to the social network, I found my husband. I wish I had met him even much earlier.”

She says she is a lucky woman. “Sometimes it is hard to believe that this is how we met, but I am a lucky woman,” says Diku, who is currently studying for a master’s degree at Mzumbe University.