When faith turns out to be a self-made prison

Ruth Stefano grew up in a God-fearing family, though her parents belonged to different denominations. Her mother was a teacher, and a devout Christian, who spent her spare time at the church. She used to take her six children with her whenever she went to church.

The 40-year-old mother of two who works as a nurse later realised that even the land that her mother tilled around the church area belonged to the church. She felt much at ease cultivating church land rather than her family land in their compound.

Ruth’s mother was not the only one who spent most of her time at the church- it was a long time tradition. The same continues to-date.

Frequenting houses of worship or spending much time on spiritual matters, a tradition many attach to the new mushrooming of churches, is said to have led to some pastors controlling homes and that the practice is even dividing families in some cases.

Ruth the nurse says the church served as a refuge to her mother, whose husband was irresponsible. Her father did not provide for his family as was required, which caused a lot of misunderstandings between her parents.

“My mother used to cry every time we went without food or when we were sent back home due to unpaid school fees.”

Ruth believes going to church gave her mother some sort of relief as they would at times be provided with food, school fees and clothes. Church became their comfort.

Like many, Ruth thinks things have changed now. Previously people would turn to church for solace and that they would get exactly that. Today sometimes those who go to church in search of peace and comfort end up being manipulated into giving offerings even when they do not have enough to feed their own families.

For Ruth’s mother, the church supported her much more than she did the church.

Asmath James, a mother of two has changed churches several times in the past three years. The former Muslim converted to Christianity when she got married. Her husband of ten years, William Chengula says his wife started moving from one church to another after she lost her banking job four years ago.

William complains that his wife’s over-involvement with the church is affecting their relationship because apart from the fact that she is no longer the happy woman she used to be, Asmath has been consistently accusing William of having extra marital affairs.

“She had been taking money for family expenditure to church so I stopped giving her the money. She thinks I have been spending money on another woman.”

William believes women are the biggest victims of pastors’ brainwashing. He he has tried talking to his wife on the matter several times but his wife would not listen. This has been so challenging to him because she has abandoned her wifely and motherly duties and has been spending a lot of time at church.

As if that is not enough, William says his wife has for about a year been denying him his conjugal rights claiming he is seeing another woman.

Pastor Livinus Erasto from the Life Centre ministry cautions responsible authorities to be careful when registering new churches. He agrees that some pastors have been brainwashing negligent followers. He urges the authorities to ensure that churches meet registration requirements.

He says a majority of the new churches are not officially registered but work as branches of the registered churches, while in reality they don’t following religious guidelines.

The pastor agrees there are pastors whose intention is to make money from believers. And since the majority of believers are women with either marital or relationship challenges or jobless youth, pastors preach to them about the power of offerings in exchange for miracles.

“Anyone who is psychologically disturbed will feel relief and hopeful when one talks about success. But they forget that God would still bless people in any situation and that they don’t necessarily need to give money even when they are unable to do so,” says Pastor Livinus.

He advises that people should stick to their denominations and religion, as God is one and that religion is just a way of people having a common understanding and an agreement on doing things concerning their faith.

Charles Nduku, a psychologist based in Dar es Salaam, says, economic challenges lead to people looking for things to sooth their hardships. Most religious houses preach peace, hope and success. Those who are troubled fall into the trap of moving to different churches in search for comfort.

The psychologist says comfort is there, but what many don’t seem to understand is the fact that it might be temporary, if they do not take serious measures to address the challenges they are facing. It is important for people to deal with problems in a reasonable way.

“Putting emotions under control will help people to bolster their confidence and accept that life’s hardships will never be solved by just a word of hope and comfort. They need to address the challenges by identifying the problem and asking the right people the kind of support they need. Prayers help but they need to go along with actions,” adds Nduku.

Avith Benjamin, 28, works at the Assemblies of God church in Dar es Salaam. He spends most of his time at church helping pastors with church services. He joined the church two years back after he lost his job, following the death of his employer who used to attend the same church.

Although he is not paid for the services he offers, Avith believes God blesses him for this. However, his mother is not happy. She wants him to get a proper job.

“My mother wants me to look for another job with a stable income, but I believe this is the right place for me,” says Avith.

Lydia Shija,35, is a mother of two children. She is a single parent and does not have a stable income.

Since she graduated from university six years ago, she has never secured employment. She is still looking for a job, and believes that God will get her one, when the right time comes.

She prays a lot and goes to church almost three to four times a week. Her family complains she has not been doing enough to get a job, as she believes one day God will give her one.