Halloween and London grappling with a new lockdown

Last Saturday it was Halloween, here, in London. You got in a train around 10pm and lo and behold, people dressed in all kinds of freaky, crazy clothes.

A group of four young white males were walking ahead. One, specifically, kept staggering and (blocking your way), like a bird with an injured wing. The legs were slithering and dragging as if he was mopping the pavement of the railway station. In Swahili we say kupiga deki.

He had high heels on.

Check this.

Not the 1970s style platform shoes called raizoni (rise on). That would have been nostalgic and classy. The chap had female high heels, and they were blue. Sorry at night, our eyes cannot be too correct, and blue might have (perhaps) made sense for a guy...they were, actually, bright red high heels. There was something protruding and sticking out of him. It is called the backside. You could see details of that section of anatomy.

He had a large, tight black underwear. Nothing else except an equally tight black jacket and he was swinging all his goods. His mates were, equally, attired in strange looking gadgets – tight trousers, umbrella-like skirts, shorts, bangles, lipstick, female bags. Males dressed as females, but HE with the black underpants was the most flamboyant and extravagant and what else?

Their Covid-19 masks were pleasantly colourful, and you found your white N95 one slightly outclassed.

You all stood waiting for the train. Underground trains in London are fast and efficient.

London “tube” trains were introduced in January 1863. Now we were boarding. Men and women with masks. It is compulsory to wear masks in public transport here.

In you went, straggling and struggling to skip and step away from the loud, abrasive partying group. Once again, the man with the huge black underwear was too close. You avoided him and his gang, and managed to secure a safe seat by the corner of that particular carriage. Social distance is almost second nature these days if you are in any public area in Europe. Except for the cynics and sceptics arguing Covid-19 is a government plan to execute us, silently, peacefully.

“Hello, mate!”

The group greeted you. You seem to be the only passenger wearing normal clothes.

Man with Mount Everest-size black underwear sat in the middle of his rowdy, loud mates. They seemed to squeeze and squash him.

“Why are you looking at him so...like...”

One of them queried smiling, a hand fondling the thighs of the star cross-dresser.

They all laughed because Halloween is like a mini Christmas. Everything in the world turns funny, charming, merry, mysteriously dangerous.

Like most on the tube, they were drunk. When Londoners are drunk everything is funny, charming, merry, mysteriously dangerous.

One of the lot added another shot, “Are you visiting London?”

You found the jab hilarious.

However, you wanted to play a tourist game and inquired.

What is Halloween?

“Celebration of the dead...”

Man in Mount Everest underwear giggled.

“We are the dead!”

The dude caressing his thigh put a finger on his lips.

“Jonathan don’t lie to this American gentleman. Derek here meant to say we are all dying.”

DYING?

They nodded.

“We are dying. Corona is going to wipe us all. Celebrate the new lockdown ...on Wednesday!”

Laughter erupted like a motorbike parading a broken pipe.

Perched comfortably a few seats away, four ladies stopped chatting and...

They had really interesting masks. Tiger. Giraffe. Peacock colours. Except the masks were dangling under their chins. The blonde in the middle had long hair and she giggled, taking selfies. The third farthest held out a large bottle, which she sipped and guzzled and...yelled.

“Handsome boy your eyes are almost popping out...want a swig?”

She handed you the huge bottle.

“Take a sip, brother!”

In pre-corona days a stranger sharing any alcoholic drink in a train, especially on a Halloween night, would be mostly welcome. But on Saturday, October 31, 2020?

Not certain.

Your eyes jumped out of their sockets. Your craving to share Vodka with three pretty women was as massive as the danger.

Your mind said no. The heart screamed yes! Yes! Yeah! BRING IT ON!

Suddenly, the man with the elephant-size underwear began retching and puking.

Within seconds ALL scattered. The train’s carriage was invaded by an odour of beer, wine, fried pork, cheese, yoghurt and roasted vegetables.

Someone once said, he preferred the stench of faeces to the SIGHT of vomit. There is something very strange about vomit.

Halloween is a day of remembering the dead. Some believers visit graveyards. Others wear the most peculiar creations. But in Covid-19 times, London’s Halloween 2020 seemed to take a new angle. Altogether.

Like a sinister, mysterious, ominous, menacing, symbolic message.