Heated debate on a train: Robots for partners in 2035

Last Friday….

Dear reader, you remember, the tale of the two Asian guys with roots in Uganda? Part of families kicked out by Idi Amin in the early 1970s, now middle-aged adults settled (and successful) in the Western world? That same day, having arrived home and changed into night attire, I took a train to the West End with a lady friend.

No sooner had I stepped into a fast tube (what fast underground trains are called here) than I faced an even more dramatic circus.

A group of about ten fellas, whites and blacks, were having an intense, animated conversation.

“Mate. I see myself in 2035 with three of them.”

“I should say five!”

“How can you have five? Would you have the energy?”

“What energy? My energy is exploding right now!”

“Rob will have the energy, man. Trust the bastard!”

I was seated and eavesdropping. Not because I wanted to. It was quite loud. My lady companion was on her phone. She wasn’t bothered.

“You can have five. For me two are enough! A blonde with long lovely hair and a pitch black type like those Sudanese. What you call them?”

“Nubis,” shouted one of the black chaps.

Long, long rapacious laughter. By then I realised they were talking about women. My eyes scanned the place. I thought I would pick a female’s voice challenging the “disgusting blokes” as my companion would say later when we debated this episode.

Several things quickly dawned on me. That 99 percent of the females in the train carriage weren’t bothered. Concentration was levelled on Android phones. Plus. These guys were actually talking about future robots. You buy a man or woman as a long-term partner. This column discussed the topic a few years ago. The habit of us humans getting dolls, robots and items to as a substitute for real relationships is right now very expensive. In the USA prices of female robots kick off from $2,000.

However, the way things are going, in a few decades, owning a human robot as a partner will be as normal as purchasing a car, phone, bread, hat, perfumes. We know science fiction magazines in the 1970s had predicted us using phones we can walk around with. Those days a phone was stationed at a particular table in the house, and that was that. If you were on the street you searched for a phone box, slotted in coins and called that static gadget in someone’s house, factory, shop, office. I recall sometime in 1990 reading then famous American magazine, Newsweek, which predicted that people walking and talking on their phones would be “normal” in 20 years’ time (ie 2010)...which as we now know is normal.

So then, folks.

A group of London males shouting how it will be a pleasure owning a bunch of female robots in a 2021 public train seems like blasphemy. But who knows what shall be “normal” in 2035? 2050?

So the guys were rapping.

The chat swung from what to why.

A very high pitched voice took over the stage.

“Look. I wen’ with her, righ? One nigh’.”

“One night stand?” asked another.

“Nope. The intention was not a one nigh’ stand, mate. I wanted a relaytionsheep. Marry her if possible.”

Laughter. Then silence.

“So?”

“Yeah. So why not? Wha’ happened?”

High pitched : “Next day we wen’ for a walk. Holding hands. In a park. Romantic. She seemed happy. I felt wow! She mus’ be...like ...feelin’ the same as I was feelin’. But after a while I noticed...She was quiet for a long, long time. Then the bomb. I asked what’s up...why is she not talking. She said well, I am taking her for a ride. I am using her and all that crap. Dude! I, I , I poured my heart. Tol’ her wha’ and how I felt. She is fantastic company. She just untangled my hand. As though I had hurt her...Ran infront of me. Blocked the way. Screamed. Dont-you-ever-call- me again! I though’ hold on a minute. What have I don? I asked what happen’d? She was like a new person. She started walking away. Turned. Screamed. And- if- you- ever- try- to -call- me-again... I will phone the police and say you molested me! I was stunned.”

The group of men went quite.

High pitched voice declared : “ When you see that, you ask yourself WHAT IS THE POINT? I see women and I feel like running away!”

Now the conversation REALLY heated. But the guys had reached their destination in an area called Oxford Circus. They stepped out into the night.

More next week.