CANDID TALK : Scooby gone bananas, a reminder of Cujo

In this sprawling God forsaken, rat and roach-infested Uswaz, reading is a taboo. We hate anything that is in writing with a passion. Instead we gobble with relish anything with a sexual connotation in it, including sexually lurid “gutter” press while drooling at stupid Kiswahili movies.

I can therefore bet my last shilling (I have none) that the heading of this story might read to an ordinary Uswahilinite more like an excerpt from an ancient Egyptian writing.

Cujo, is dog character in Stephen King’s novel Cujo that after having been bitten by a rabid bat as he chased rabbits in the meadows, ended up becoming a rabid himself, wreaking havoc killing the villagers. A once timid and a friendly St Bernard (these are very huge) became a village terror literally becoming a subject of a horror movie by the name Cujo.

Now, my spoilt daughter named a little fluffy dog I had picked up from under the culvert on early morning, Scooby, from the dog cartoon by the same name. The dog has grown to become a monster. Just like Stephen King’s Cujo, Scooby was this harmless dog that was allowed luxuries that no mangy dog in entire Uswaz would.

For example, although my one-and-only Bisho Ntongo earns next to zero, we occasionally afforded dog shampoo and dagaa. He was even allowed the luxury of watching his favourite South American soap opera on our junk of a TV. This was luxury that Uswaz dogs are not privy to. Indeed, the place for African dogs is known – out of the house.

And like Cujo of the novel, something has gone terribly awry. Indeed, the Mwenyekiti and the Mjumbe, the two government fellows who call shots in Uswaz are looking for me for the atrocities that Scooby has done. The dog, prior to the drama, had vanished and it was rumoured that he was living in the neighbourhood.

Anyway, I suspect that a rabid dog has bitten him, for last week, as I was trying to chain him when he decided that I was not his bona fide owner, he barred his teeth, drooled and in his eyes, I thought I saw so much anger.

He was growling the way he has never done before. As I was still trying to make up my mind what to do with him, he leaped at me, bit my middle finger so hard that it was profusely bleeding.

This was unusual for such a timid dog. When he leaped at me I knew I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. But since outrunning a dog is impossible, I felt some pain in my buttocks as the canine took one huge swipe at me. I am now nursing pain, add that to the expensive anti-rabies injections!