I and Joe? No, please; English requires you to say ‘Joe and I’

When you take up a foreign language, you’re often expected to adhere to the indigenous speakers’ etiquette. Short of that, you might be considered impolite or even illiterate. Take for instance the way we say in Kiswahili, “Mimi na wewe”. Literally, you’d translate that into English as “I and you.” Or when we say, “Mimi na meneja wangu”, a direct translation would be, “I and my manager.”

That would be “wrong”! Primary owners of the language expect you to say it “correctly” thus: “You and I” for the former and for the latter, “my manager and I.”

There can’t be an easy, linguistically logical way of explaining why it is considered wrong to mention yourself first. But, if I may hazard it, the reason could be that of politeness in the context of English culture. Yes; a culture that binds you to give primacy to the other person by mentioning them before you mention yourself. Give that a thought, reader.

I will now proceed with my key task of sharing linguistic gems. Here we go…

In the Saturday edition of the huge tabloid from Nairobi that commands a sizeable readership in Bongo, there’s a story on Page 4 entitled, “Ex-president has been ill for years”.

This is one of the many stories written following the death of Kenya’s third president, the man affectionately dubbed the gentleman of Kenya’s politics, Mwai KIbaki, who died on Friday, April 23.

Reporting on what a governor said in eulogizing the departed ex-president (whose burial takes place tomorrow), our colleague in Nairobi wrote:

“Laikipia governor Ndiritu Muriithi, Mr Kibaki’s nephew, said his health CONDITION has been deteriorating over the last five years.”

The situation of someone’s HEALTH is nothing other than a condition, which is to say, you don’t need to qualify it (health) with the word “condition.” Just say, “…his health has been deteriorating…”

On Page 12, there’s a Q&A article in which an interviewee is purported to respond to a question thus: “…The four of us, Ms Anne Waiguru, Abdikadir Mohamed, Nancy Gitau and MYSELF were critical to the formation of the government.”

So and so and myself? Nope! It should be, “…so and so and I” Just as it would be absurd to say in Kiswahili: “Yule na yule na mimi MWENYEWE” instead of, saying: “Yule na yule na MIMI.”

And now, back to Bongo. On Page 4 of the tabloid associated with this columnist (Friday, April 2 edition), there’s a story on the controversial (Tanzania’s) rough ruby weighing 2.8kg. In this one, the scribbler’s intro reads:

“UAE gemstone collectors now have the chance to own ONE OF the biggest rough RUBY in the world…”

One of the biggest ruby? Nope, we say “…one of the largest RUBIES…” A ruby is a stone and when there’re several pieces of them, feel free to talk of “rubies.”

Let us now direct our peering eyes to the Saturday, 23 April edition of Bongo’s senior-most broadsheet in which Page 3 has a story entitled: ‘Mwinyi appoints new ZECC Director General’. In this one, the scribbler incorporates news sourced from an event officiated by Maisha Bora Foundation chairwoman, First Lady Mariam Mwinyi, who is thus reported:

“She called on financially well individuals to continue giving donations and aid to the poor people to enable them to get food TO EAT…”

Hello! Unless otherwise explained, when you give people FOOD, it is, obviously, meant for them to EAT, so why say it? Bah!

Our Zanzibar-based colleague further reports: “Unguja North RC…thanked her Foundation for the donations including food items for the 110 women AND QURAN for RECITATION in mosques and ‘madrasas’ (QURAN SCHOOLS).

Hang on! You don’t “donate Quran;” you donate COPIES of THE Quran. The words “for recitation” in the sentence are superfluous…unnecessary info! And madrasas aren’t merely Quran schools; they’re schools/learning centres where Islamic knowledge is offered.

Ah, this treacherous language called English!