Is it real love? Between heartbeats, laughter, and silence

Love… That four-letter word that makes something stir inside us the moment we hear it. It’s not always butterflies in the stomach — sometimes it feels more like the fluttering of an unpaid credit card bill. And when there’s someone new in your life, your insides turn inside out, and your entire existence becomes a dramatic TikTok clip. You find yourself writing a message, deleting it, adding three dots, deleting again. You wonder, “Is this heart emoji too much?” That’s how the first pangs of love begin.

Realising you love someone seems easy at first. We all become part-time poets in the beginning. “She smiled and spring bloomed inside me,” or “His voice silenced my inner chaos.” But let’s be honest — that poetic magic often disappears with the first electricity bill. Was it real love, or just a temporary hormone parade? That’s when the real question starts to haunt us.

Because love can start with a cup of coffee… and end while shopping for a washing machine. You can’t just type “Is my love real?” into Google and expect a divine answer. Those love quizzes online won’t help much — they might pair you with a pizza more accurately than your soulmate.

So how do we know?

Now let’s turn the page and move into the lyrical part. Because real love isn’t just laughter — it’s also silence. Deep, revealing silence.

Real love is waking up not just with their presence in your mind but with the weight of their absence in your chest. If the lack of their voice stings more than hearing it soothes, there is something more there. It’s not about being next to someone — it’s about carrying them inside, even when they’re not around. That’s when words fall away and the soul begins to speak.

True love isn’t just about good times — it’s about standing together through the fragile moments too. When they stay at your side while you’re sick, when they say nothing while you’re falling apart, when they offer no solution but whisper, “I’m here”—that’s when love shows its real shape. Because sometimes the greatest love does nothing… except stay.

Real love isn’t about synchronised heartbeats. It’s about two different rhythms that still find harmony. It’s not always about wanting the same things but about wanting to walk together even when your paths look different. In the middle of arguments, it’s not “I’m right” but “I don’t want you to hurt.”

In time, you realise how much of yourself you can be around them. Not your polished self — but your bare, sleepy, silly, moody, chaotic self. True love doesn’t love the best version of you; it loves the truest one. Because they don’t just want to “see” you — they want to understand you.

Real love often doesn't say much. It lives in glances, in touch, in presence. And it grows the most when it asks for nothing in return. If their happiness becomes your joy — if your ego steps aside and your heart takes over — that’s not attraction anymore. That’s a bond.

And above all: real love helps you grow. It doesn’t say, “You’re mine,” but “Be your best.” It doesn’t cage you. It frees you. If being with them makes life feel fuller, and being without them doesn’t make you feel lost — then that love is not ownership; it’s companionship. Not passion alone, but partnership.

Still, no one can stamp your heart and say, “This is certified true love.” Because love isn’t math. It’s not precise. It’s a possibility. Sometimes it lasts a lifetime. Sometimes it ends in the length of a song. But no matter how long it stays, it changes you. It takes something from you. And it leaves something behind.

Maybe the only real way to know if love is genuine… is to look at who you become in it. Are you more patient? Softer? Braver? Or more jealous, anxious, afraid? Love shapes you. If it lifts you up, it’s real. If it wears you down, it’s not.

Eventually, we realise: the truth of love is not outside of us — it’s within us. Not in the person, but in who we become when we’re with them. If loving someone makes you more you — more grounded, more free, more alive — then you don’t need to question its truth. It’s not just a feeling anymore. It’s a way of existing.

And somewhere in all these questions, love sometimes lives in the simplest things — a smile, a memory, a quiet night. Maybe love isn’t so complicated after all. Maybe it’s just that simple: feeling at home in someone’s presence.

If you think of someone and your heart doesn’t race with anxiety but beats steadily with peace… If time doesn’t just pass with them but feels suspended… And if, when they leave, what remains is not emptiness but gratitude...

Then you can gently smile to yourself and say:

“Yes… Maybe this is truly love.”

With Love and Respect,

Burak Anaturk.

Burak Anaturk is a professional civil engineer. He focuses on sharing lessons from his life experiences, exploring diverse perspectives, and discussing personal development topics.
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