The dikdik’s ‘envious’ means he won’t ‘shire’ his female partner
What you need to know:
Newsroom tasks have been made a lot easier today, thanks to the arrival of the computer.
The spelling head-ache, for instance, has been virtually eliminated.
A non-nonsense editorial chief I worked with at a downtown newsroom in the early 2000s used to admonish us with thus: “You people, at least, ensure you take care of the basics!” Yes, why not sort out issues that are within your competence before you hand over your work to the editor.
Newsroom tasks have been made a lot easier today, thanks to the arrival of the computer.
The spelling head-ache, for instance, has been virtually eliminated.
Grammar too and diction to some extent. Do we ensure that we utilise enough Google and the word processor functions? Are you making use of the proof-readers, or you are of the misguided type who consider themselves perfect and amply educated, so the only thing proofreaders do is to “intro-duce mistake” to our excellent work?
What nonsense! A lot of the ridiculous nay, shameful goofs that are getting more and more commonplace on our front page headlines (of all places!), you can bet, are a result of this kind of arrogance. Yes, that is, when a senior subeditor is so vain that he finds it unnecessary to ask a colleague to take a look at what he/ she has penned! Jicho la pili, we say in Kiswahili. Enough of generalities. Let us now move on to share linguistic gems we recently unearthed. So, here we go…
There is this article on Page 23 of the huge Kenyan tabloid that commands a substantial readership in Bongo, entitled ‘Elachi tightens the noose on City Hall political foes’.
Reporting on the then Nairobi County Assembly Speaker Beatrice Elachi, our Kenyan colleague writes: “Interestingly, the staunch Chris-tian holds both “a BACHELORS” and “MASTERS” degrees in peace and security studies…” In spoken speech, nobody would notice the error here, except maybe for the missing indefinite article a before the second word that we have capitalised.
From the mouth of a speaker, BACHELORS (wrong) and BACHELOR’S (correct) and MAS-TERS (wrong) MASTER’S (correct) sound the same. Our “trick” that may help you to appreciate why the apostrophe (possessive mark) is significant is this: the first degree (BA, BSc, etc) is one possessed by a person who is a bachelor (or if you like, a youngster) while the second degree is one possessed BY a master somebody who is not just anybody!
A word to our final newsroom gatekeepers, namely the subeditors. Please don’t take for granted any-one whose work you are assigned to handle, ostensibly because they are “seasoned scribblers.” Basically all writers, including the best among us, make mistakes. None of us is perfect. As a subeditor, aim to make your client’s work perfect! We came across the following in an article by a very capable intellectual who contributes frequently to the English press: “…
This event attracted a huge gathering of distinguished guests, including a large number of foreign Heads of STATES and GOVERNMENTS. Heads of states and governments? Nope! We say heads of STATE and GOVERNMENT. Yes, like we would refer to headmasters of numerous schools as heads of SCHOOL (not heads of schools).
In the July 25 edition of a leading broadsheet, there is an article entitled, ‘How ENVIOUS puts two brothers apart in the wild’. It is a long, interesting feature on two types of antelopes the dikdik and duiker.
More about them, later. The headline gives the idea that the two closely related animals are in bad terms because of what he calls “envious”. However, the headline errs therein, because the word is an adjective.
We are certain he had in mind the word, ENVY, a noun. When you bear envy in your heart, we say you are envious.
Just like, when you bear JEALOUSY within you, we say you are a JEALOUS person! Defining the natural tendency of the dikdik, the scribbler says this animal has “a monogamous way of life whereby a male LIVE and BREAD with a single female throughout his entire life and…he is not ready at any given time to SHIRE or give his love to another female…”
That is what our colleague wrote, and his gatekeepers let it go to see the light of day.
Our interventions: For “a male LIVE” our colleague must have meant to say “a male LIVES”; for BREAD, he meant BREED and for SHIRE he must have meant SHARE. Ah, this treacherous language called English!
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