Saturday, June 9, 2018

THE DIVA: There are so many reasons why women cheat


By Christine Chacha

The other day I was having a very interesting conversation with a dear friend on why women cheat. This came after we found out a common friend was having an affair yet she had an awesome husband or so we thought. While I was partly shocked about the whole situation my pal was not and went on to tell me that she knows so many married women who are cheating that it does not surprise her anymore. For a long time, infidelity was seen as a man’s game but the landscape for cheating in the last few decades has changed and experts even say women are cheating just as much as men.

When we confronted our friend she was unapologetic saying “I am not cheating to look for love because I still love my husband, I simply want to be satisfied in bed.” She went on to explain her logic adding that if she does not do something to address her sexless marriage, she might end up leaving. “I have tried to talk to my husband about my sexual desires but he brushes me off so it’s either I cheat or break the marriage which means breaking up my family, breaking my children’s hearts, breaking my husband’s heart, and I just don’t need that.” Basically she was cheating to stay married- ironic but you got to admit, she does have a point.

It’s commonly thought that men are not really wired for monogamy while women are more naturally inclined to be content with commitment or exclusiveness. That is why no one is shocked when a man cheats but everyone is appalled when a woman cheats. That is a very archaic thinking because the reality is that women, just like men have sexual urges which when not met will look for satisfaction elsewhere.

Women cheat when they are not satisfied by their men not only when it comes to sexual matters but other issues like emotional and intimacy needs. Gone are the days when women sat at home for the sole purpose of giving sexual gratification to their men, procreation and home care. The modern woman has needs too that she wants met.

There are so many reasons why women cheat but that’s now what I want to talk about. You see cheating is not something to be taken lightly and more so by women. So when you find a woman who is cheating know that her decision is very pragmatic and well thought out. It says a lot about her and the things she values- it’s a well-known fact that if you want to understand what a woman wants, look at her affairs not her relationship.

It’s always been wildly known that women do not cheat for sex rather for emotional needs but it seems the tables have turned. There are so many reasons why women cheat nowadays ranging from boredom, revenge, sexual incompatibility, to spice things to others like low self-esteem.

Although affairs may be considered a moral issue, many times they’re merely a wake-up call, indicators of deeper problems in a relationship or marriage. Most of the times both parties are to blame because it takes two to tango. Unaddressed issues in a relationship have the potential to either kill a relationship or make it stronger it all depends on how they address it. But, too often the moral stigma of infidelity locks couples in a power struggle over right and wrong, rather than fixing the underlying issues that led to the infidelity first.