Ways couples celebrate love

On Wednesday this week, the world will celebrate Valentine’s Day. The day is recognised as a significant cultural, religious and commercial celebration of romance in many regions around the world.

A survey by Life & Style found that the majority of people in Tanzania consider it as a day to show love among couples. We interviewed two couples to see what the day means to them.

Mariana and Yohana

Mariana Mkwachu, 38, a female hair salon owner in Kinondoni and Yohana Mkude, 48, a banker have been married for 10 years.

Mkude was raised by an uncle who lived in South Africa. He started living with his uncle when he was 8 years old following his mother’s death. He grew up seeing his uncle and his wife celebrate Valentine’s Day by giving each other gifts and going out for romantic dinners.

“I grew up in a family that valued Valentine’s Day. It was amazing how everyone got busy trying to make sure they created good memories on that day. I grew up dreaming of doing the same to my wife,” says Mkude.

He says his wife, his girlfriend then, never used to believe in the culture. On their first Valentine’s in 2006, Mkude bought her flowers and chocolate which were delivered to her office. She was surprised and excited at the same time.

Mariana says it was her first time to receive gifts on Valentine’s Day. She never took the day seriously as people surrounding her never paid attention to it.

“The gifts he gave me created a serious debate at work that day with the majority wondering if the day was that special. A few girls advised me to also buy him gifts,” says Mariana. Affectionately looking at her husband, she added; “When I called to thank him he asked me out for a dinner date,” says Mariana.

Mkude says, “I was trying to see if Mariana would agree to the dinner date since she comes from a religious family. Before we got married we never used to go out for dinner dates because her parents never allowed her out at night.” As expected she turned his date request down.

“I could read her excitement over the phone as she thanked me for the gifts but she said no to the outing. I didn’t force her as I understood her situation,” says Mkude.

Mariana and Mkude had their first son just a few days before Valentine’s Day the following year. It was their first Valentine’s together as a married couple.

Mariana knew how much her husband valued Valentine’s and since she had just given birth days before their first Valentine’s together, she sent her sister to buy a shirt and a watch for her husband. However, she thinks her gifts were nothing compared to the treatment and gifts she got from her husband that Valentine’s Day.

“He made dinner for me on our second Valentine’s together. He brought sweet smelling candles and served me vegetable soup, roasted bananas and fried fish. Our conversation that day was all about our new family and how to boost our income. It was all romantic,” she recalls.

Mkude says they did not go out for a romantic dinner since they had a new born to take care of. Making dinner for his wife therefore was a way of telling her she deserved to be treated with love and respect. He says the gifts from his wife made him feel loved and appreciated because even when she was busy taking care of their baby, she still bothered to send someone to buy him gifts.

He says, ten years down the line, they still value and celebrate Valentine’s Day, a reminder of their love for each other. He says with today’s busy life having a special day for couples to pamper each other is not a bad idea.

Their sons, Erick 10, and Alpha, 5, know very well what Valentine’s Day means to their parents.

“Erick and Alpha are old enough to understand that Valentine’s means a lot to us. They usually ask to join us for dinner outings on the day,” says Mariana.

This year, definitely, Mariana and Mkude have beautiful plans for the day. They both did not want to reveal their plans to Life&Style since they each have surprises for each other.

Verka and Samaye

Verka Innocent, 35, is a teacher at Kimanga Primary School. She has been married to Samaye Victor, 40, a police officer for 7 years. Unlike Mr and Mrs Mkude, Verka and Samaye never celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Samaye believes they love each other and that is why they got married in the first place. He thinks celebrating love on just a single day sounds like a cheap idea to him.

“I love my wife every single day. There are times we don’t agree on some things and we end up arguing. This is normal even in couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day. My wife and I think it is not a good idea to celebrate this day as it sounds like limiting ourselves from sharing gifts and love during the rest of the days of the year,” says Samaye.

Samaye buys his wife gifts whenever possible. To them every day is a day to celebrate love even when they are not in good terms.

Being a police officer, Samaye says on Valentine’s nights, the police force usually dispatches police officers around bars and other night joints to ensure peace reigns as people celebrate love.

“Given this I wouldn’t be comfortable going out on that particular day as the majority, sometimes this finds me on duty anyway,” he adds.

Verka calls upon parents and fellow teachers to pay extra attention on their pupils/children as they also tend to involve themselves in Valentine’s celebratioins. They are not supposed to engage in romance at their age.

Reverend Aidan Mbulininge of St Albans Anglican church in Dar es Salaam says the Bible teaches that love should be celebrated every day.

The reverend says celebrating Valentine’s involves spending a lot of money which he thinks can be better spent to help the needy.

“There are a lot of extra marital affairs going on currently. Those involved also celebrate Valentine’s Day and the church does not approve that. I would say the day at some point contributes to people going against what the Bible teaches,” he concludes.

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