A TEACHER'S DIARY : Rules of engagement rejected

What you need to know:

“Kuya ako na bahati huyo hakuwa bibi yangu,” said Nyayo. “Angekuwa anazikwa leo.” That was last Tuesday. “Ukijifungia na Anindo kwa room hapo nitakumaliza.”

Following the tussle between Kuya and I at school over the laugh of my life, the matter became a topic of discussion at Mwisho wa Lami’s Bunge la Mwananchi – aka Hitler’s. I had tried to ensure the matter remains secret but since a few women were involved, it soon became a hot Mwisho wa Lami topic.

“Kuya ako na bahati huyo hakuwa bibi yangu,” said Nyayo. “Angekuwa anazikwa leo.” That was last Tuesday. “Ukijifungia na Anindo kwa room hapo nitakumaliza.”

“Vijana wa siku hizi you have jokes,” said Alphayo. “Why do you want your wife to work like you?” he wondered. He added that a man should be the provider of the family and the wife should always remain at home taking care of the family. “Kwanza wewe Andrea na mshahara kubwa wacha bibi akae nyumbani,” he told me.

Most of the patrons disagreed with him, saying that it was important for women to also work, but they were all agreed that it was wrong for Fiolina and I to teach in the same school.

“Makosa sio Fionila kufanya kazi,” said Rasto. “Makosa ni kufanya kazi ofisi moja na Andrea.” Everyone agreed with this, except Nyayo.

“Mwanaume anafaa kukuwa na siri,” said Rasto. “Utakuwaje na siri kama mnaenda ofisi moja na bibi kila siku?”

Nyayo disputed this, saying that if you had a beautiful and educated wife like Fiolina, it was necessary to keep a close eye on her. “Kuna mafisi huko nje,” he said. “Huyo ni bibi lazima umchunge kila saa. Unaweza poteza.”

I did not contribute in the discussion but I was taking notes. I had also thought about changing her Teaching Practice school but I asked myself what would have happened if there were other Kuyas in another school and I was not near to keep a close eye on Fiolina? Things would have been worse.

On Wednesday, I visited Juma, the former HM of our school and the husband of Madam Ruth. I wanted to find out how it had been teaching with his wife in the same school.

“It is difficult, especially when you are the deputy and she is a teacher,” he told me. I asked him if I should move Fiolina to another school but he was against it. “You need to keep a keen eye on her Dre,” he said. “I know what happens to lady teachers on teaching practice.” He, however, told me that to avoid conflict, I needed to set some ground rules that will guide us in our operations at school.

“I set us some rules which when we implemented, things worked well,” he said. “Initially Ruth was opposed to some of them but later on, she agreed that they had helped strengthen our marriage.” He took me through some of them but advised me against taking all of them. “Take those that are relevant to you as not all will work for you and your marriage,” he advised. That evening, I took some time to define the rules of engagement between Fiolina and I at school and home. Below are some of them.

Fiolina is my wife 24-7: Fiolina had to know that she was my wife both at home and at school. No one should cheat her that she was my colleague at school and wife at home. It was important for all teachers and students at school to know as such. I expected her to serve me tea and lunch and also to ensure that my office was clean at all times. I could call her and send her anytime and she had to follow my instructions even at school.

Teacher friends: Fiolina was to be careful on the teacher friends to keep. For our marital peace, Fiolina was not supposed to be friends with male teachers in our school or neighbouring schools.

Going forward, she would need to make friends with female colleagues: Mrs Atika, Nzomo, Sella, Madam Ruth or Lena or Anita. She had to stop being close to people like Kuya, Saphire or Erick among others. Specifically, she should only interact with them when it is completely unavoidable and I should be aware beforehand.