Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Dealing with selfish friends hurts a lot!


Hi my name is Alice I love being around people, but for some reason some of my close friends are very selfish. I am always there for them when they need me but unfortunately this is not the case when I am faced with some small crisis.

I mean when I reach out to them for help, they are totally uncaring and think I am too sensitive but the reality is that they are selfish and I have to live with it, so how can I make it easier on myself?

Friends are supposed to be goood people who satndby you in your times of need and happiness too. But that is just as far as the narrative may just go because on most occassions the reality is that people that we assume to be our friends arent at all!

You may have the same pet peeve that I do - selfish people. You know the type, all they do is think about themselves and if something doesn’t have to do with them or something they like, they don’t care.

This means that if it’s a family member or friend, you can hardly get him or her to help you unless it ends up being some sort of benefit to your loved one.

If it’s a classmate, you may try your hardest to stay away because the person will rarely do anything to help you unless it benefits him or her directly.

Since the world is full of this type of people, it may be useful to understand how you can deal with them while still keeping them around in your life.

Play the same game as the person is playing. When the person is in a long drawn out discussion of him or herself, take every opportunity to revert the conversation back to yourself.

Take a tiny bit of whatever the person says and relate it your own life. Make sure to make your stories just as drawn out.

If you believe the selfish friend is not paying attention to you while you are speaking, wrap up the conversation quickly and move on. If the person tries to keep you around by starting a new discussion about him or herself, tell the person you have to do something or be somewhere and will get back to him or her later on.

Limit contact with the person as much as possible while still keeping him or her in your life. Chances are, the person will not even realise that you are avoiding him or her and would never think someone wouldn’t want to be around the person.

If you have a good rapport with the person tell the person he or she needs to stop thinking about only him or herself. Some people have lived a life of the world only revolving around them for so long that they don’t even realise they are compromising relationships.

Be gentle with this because you are criticising the person’s personality.

As a last resort, if you just can’t stand how selfish the person is, end the relationship. This may not be as easy if it is a family member or a classmate you have to see every day but you can again, keep your distance.

Fill your life with people who make you happy and this includes people who don’t only want one sided friendships.

Surround yourself with people who care as much about you as you do for them.

If you have a burning question, send it to: powere@tz.nationmedia.com