Relationship breakers you should try to avoid

Saturday December 8 2018

 

By Chris Hart

It’s all too easy to develop a whole load of bad habits that can wreck your relationship. Because we mostly worry about the big things, like infidelity, that can suddenly and spectacularly end a marriage. But over time, the small stuff can do just as much damage.

Like, are you forever on social media? Tempted to contact exes, or post inappropriate photos? Or simply spending far too much time on-line? Social media can cause immense distress in a relationship. As can endless hours spent video gaming. Especially when they disrupt your routine.

For example, you’ll be far less intimate together if one of you is constantly going to bed alone, while the other only follows in the small hours. So always go to bed together!

Checking out of conversations while your partner’s talking is also highly damaging. In fact, it’s a strong predictor of divorce.

Whether because you’re just not paying them enough attention, or because you’re avoiding any discussion of a serious issue.

So, figure out how to fight fair, because couples who listen to each other, and address problems constructively, do much better than those whose habit is to withdraw or get angry. Fortunately, it’s never too late to learn good conflict management skills.

And the best place to practice is discussing your money! Because couples who learn to manage their income, spending, loans and investments together, are much more successful than those who’s habit is to keep their finances secret.

It’s also important to be able to discuss your intimate lives together. Because ignoring tensions in the bedroom won’t make them go away. So even if sex isn’t that important to you, you should still talk about it. To make sure you’re both meeting each other’s needs.

Do you have a tendency to look on the gloomy side of things? Constant contempt, criticism, or a pessimistic view of the future can bring a marriage to its knees.

Cheerful

You don’t have to be cheerful all of the time, but if you’re forever making negative comments, try to look more on the bright side.

Divorce can become catching among a group of friends. Because even grown adults are influenced by their peer group. So if you regularly socialise with divorcees, then you’re more likely to follow in their footsteps.

Don’t avoid your divorced friends, of course, but you should be wary of being influenced by their attitudes towards marriage.

Couples in which one or both partners smoke have a higher likelihood of breaking up. So there’s another good reason for quitting.

And it’s also worth watching your drinking habits.

Because your relationship is more likely to fail if one of you drinks a lot more than the other.

Probably because that’s more about having different lifestyles than the drinking itself.

The happiest couples do at least some of their household chores together.

Advertisement