THE DIVA: Weaving a substantial love nest

Saturday March 7 2020


By Shakina Shabbir Dossaji

A marriage is neither a ring on your finger nor a signature on paper. It is not a celebration of fanfare or bejewelled adornment. It is not momentary but an eternal bond for life.

The wedding cake so lovingly cut together is sweet and creamy, luxurious in texture. Everything has a soft, leisurely feel. The sunsets of honeymoon are enjoyed immensely, with hands entwined, tanned backs, barefooted, crowned with exotic flowers, on silver sands with a spring in the step and song at heart.

After the spring of love, follows the frost of winter for some. The real test is when they start living together and go about their daily routine. “Will you hang your wet towel outside to dry?” she screams.

“What were you doing the whole day, why haven’t you cooked yet?” He is already flustered. They start picking on each other’s faults.

The quarrels build up creating a wide communication gap between the couple. Resentment follows. It is said, a stitch in time saves nine. Don’t let the sweetness of the marriage lose its essence. The moment you allow that to happen, all the charm evades. An ideal couple has disagreements now and then which fizzle down into playful banter and mutual understanding. In order to persevere the scent of marital bliss, the weeds need to be uprooted, the roots replenished, the petals nourished fully. Believe in the sacredness of marriage and do not be quick in letting it crumble like a cookie upon your ‘temper-flares’. Work on your marriage casserole and spice it up exactly the way you want it to be.

The worse thing a partner can do is to have an extra-marital affair. I do not want to judge anyone here. Sometimes poor decisions are made when faced by certain circumstances, often regrettable, sometimes accidental. But all said and done, it is best to keep an honest relationship. Or if not happy with one another than to sever ties rather than cheat on one another. Your spouse deserves your full-fledged love. A legal and holy matrimony is very fulfilling. Arm in arm, you are not afraid to be seen. You can still enjoy the love as you dine under a star-studded night. You can travel and explore places, take selfies together. You can build a lovely family with unforgettable memories.


Stay away from married men. Somebody’s man is not your man. Be a woman that uplifts another woman. Let her enjoy the little palace she has created for herself. No matter how much you are in love with him, set him free. For you deserve a man who can legally wed you and not be afraid to introduce you to the world.

Then there are those single ladies with married man as a boyfriend. And she discovers, he has a few more girlfriends. She still sticks to him in the name of love. Negate from the equation.

And then there are those old flames who suddenly decide to rekindle.

They throw away whatever they have at hand, spouse and kids, and start a new life afresh. Some people usually say, “they are just kids, they will grow up.” It is easy to say.

They will shoot but with wilted roots. Your kids are your greatest blessings. Savour raising them up.

Every choice you make in this life has a consequence, and regardless of what you choose, you need to be prepared for the effect it will have on your life.