When it’s better to break your own heart

Saturday July 7 2018

 

By Christine Chacha

How many times have you tried to get your friend, relative or colleague to break up with some guy who is treating her like crap but your pleas fall on deaf ears.

It’s very frustrating because you know they are heading for a heartbreak and there is nothing you can do.

Love is a strange thing, it turns people blind, deaf and sick. We have all seen it; close friends and family, pleading with their loved one to break up with some douche but they won’t listen. Believe me, it is not just the women, it happens to men also.

No matter how obvious the abuse and disrespect is, they won’t leave. That person could have all the evidence of cheating, mental abuse, physical abuse and even financial abuse, but they just can’t find the strength to leave. At this point, love becomes a sickness.

Sometimes love is like being in chains, you want out but you just don’t know how to. It is not meant to be like that.

You have to break your own heart to save yourself. You cannot wait for the abuser to do it for you - he has no desire or interest in doing it for you. Stop trying to figure out why they don’t love you, or why they are treating you like this. It is a waste of time.

So, what can the lovesick do when all the red flags are flaring? You must find the courage and strength to break your own heart before you become a slave of your love. I know it is easier said than done, but that is the key.

For your own sake you have to make a hard decision to save your own heart.

How many times have you gotten all worked up sexually and slept with someone you knew you would regret later? Then the crazy part is, right after you finish, you return to your right state of mind and pain and regret kicks in. It has happened to me and I can tell you it’s not a pleasant feeling.

Be smart and brave enough to recognise a potential bad relationship before you take the plunge. It is painful at first, but nothing as painful as losing precious years to abuse and mistreatment. There will be withdrawals: you may be tempted to call or text.

He or she will keep calling and tempting you through apologies. Loneliness will rear its ugly head. Stand your ground!

When you do break your own heart, don’t just lay there listening to sad love songs. Now there is a void and you could easily become desperate to fill it with another bad relationship. Instead fill it with friends, family and kids if you have them. Find things to do.

Start a business, go back to school, join an organization, work it out in the gym but don’t just sit there checking your phone! One cute emoji can ruin your life and you are back to the cycle of destruction!

Ladies, don’t just break your own heart, smash it for your own good. Meaning, break up with that fool before he makes a fool of you! I know it is easier said than done, but it can be done if you really love yourself and want to be free.

Nobody deserves to be treated like a dog, especially by a dog! Think about what advice you would give your best friend who is in a similar situation, and make it your own!

When you are finally free, you will be like “what the hell was wrong with me! What was I thinking? How could I be so stupid?” You weren’t stupid, you were just in love, and love can be a dangerous thing. That is, when it is not respected.

chacha.kristin@yahoo.com

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