ALL were asked to come in HUGE numbers for GLAMOROUS rally
RESERSED parking space? That cannot be. We are certain the artist who was commissioned to handle this notice was directed to paint RESERVED for… PHOTO | READER LK
A compound sentence can mix up the writer and, even more seriously, the reader. Look at this sentence on Page 2 of the tabloid closely associated with this columnist, entitled ‘Kabuga to be tried in Arusha’. Writes the scribbler about Felician Kabuga, the alleged mastermind of the 1984 genocide that left over 800,000 Rwandan citizens dead:
“Once he is in the custody of Residual Mechanism for International for International Criminal Tribunals (RMICT) he would formally be charged with genocide and genocide related CHARGES THAT TOOK PLACE in his home country.”
The sentence is clearly awkward, for it sounds like the scribbler is talking about “charges that took place…” That doesn’t make sense.
“Once he is in the custody of RMICT he will formally be charged with genocide THAT TOOK PLACE in his home country. Mr Kabuga will also face other genocide-related charges.”
On Page 3, there is another story headlined, ‘Our ties with Mozambique need boosting, agues Zitto’.
In reaction to MCT-Wazalendo leader Zitto Kabwe’s allegations that there has been “DISMISSAL of about 400 Mozambican citizens were also reportedly turned back to their country,” Nanyumbu DC Moses Machali is thus reported:
“Speaking to Mwananchi, Mr Machali said claims that 400 Mozambican citizens were thrown out the country would be untrue because foreign citizens can only be DISMISSED if they were (sic!) apprehended by immigration authorities...”
We are uncomfortable with the word “dismiss” for it sounds too soft for the act of forcing aliens to leave a country. How about the most appropriate verb, REPATRIATE, the noun of which is REPATRIATION?
We move to Bongo’s senior-most broadsheet of Saturday 3, October, whose front page story is headlined, ‘JPM, Mwinyi in GRAND rally today’.
A reader, one WM, communicated to us wondering why the headline writer considered it apt to qualify a rally that had not yet taken place as “grand”. His concern sounds valid, for we of the Fourth Estate are consistently counselled to avoid “prophetic journalism”.
In Para 3, our scribbling colleague says: “CCM’s Ideology and Publicity Secretary, Humphrey Polepole…invited ALL Zanzibaris to turn out in HUGE numbers for the GLAMOROUS meeting at Mnazi Mmoja…”
Using “all” and “huge numbers” together is indulging in tautology. Why, if you invite all, you are obviously inviting huge numbers. Indeed, “all” is more inclusive than huge numbers since it refers to EVERYBODY.
And then, defining an expected political rally—and indeed, any political rally—as glamorous, is a challenge to us!
On Page 4 of the same broadsheet, there is a story entitled ‘Four people die as 10 others cheat death’. In the last-but-one para, the scribbler reports:
“Meanwhile, the BODY of ten-cell member at Nyanya Street in Msua Ward in Sumbawanga Municipal Council…was found abandoned five metres from her house AFTER BEING KILLED by unknown people.”
The scribbler comes out as telling his readers that “a body” was abandoned after “it was killed”. This is a most ludicrous thing to say—killing a body! We end up with kind of strangeness when we endeavour to say everything that should be said in a single sentence.
How about conveying the same information in the following way:
“Meanwhile, the BODY of ten-cell member at Nyanya Street in Msua Ward in Sumbawanga Municipal Council…Tedy Charles, was found abandoned five metres from her house. Preliminary investigations indicate that the woman was killed by unknown people.”
On Page 10, there is a feature article entitled ‘When termites perform rituals in the savannah’ and therein, the scribbler writes in Para 2:
“Psychologists say rituals are performed for different purposes such as MAKING prayers, ceremony AND OTHERS. On THEIR SIDE, scientists say from thousands of years ago, termites sing and dance…”
Hello! We don’t make prayers; we SAY them. And, we don’t say on their side (kwa upande wao in Kiswahili); we say FOR THEIR PART…
Ah, this treacherous language called English!
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