Turn EGO into Edging Gift Out

“We compete with others only in those situations in which we are afraid and defective in initiative,” observed William and Marguerite Beacher.

You can turn EGO into an acronym for Edging Gifts Out. When you’re full of ego, you let it edge out gifts such as creativity, innovation, intuition, positive energy, objectiveness, and happiness.

The word “Ego” is from Latin, and it means “the self.” To be egotistical is to be self-centered. Far from enhancing a person’s stature, egotism diminishes it. As American statesman Benjamin Franklin put it, “A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.”

To the egotist, everything revolves around the self. That’s why an egotist often becomes defensive and judgmental, taking things personally. Ego is insidious, because it takes hold of the inner self and eats away at external concerns.

Egotists are not team players; they put themselves ahead of family, colleagues and society. They overlook the immense importance of being interdependent creatures, because they can’t see beyond their own immediate interests.

They cease to recognize the strength and synergy in diversity, because they are the only entities they’re concerned with and their welfare is the only welfare that counts. They cannot be objective, because what they want and what they believe are, by definition, right. They cannot be authentic, because they must buy into the fiction that they’re at the center of the universe.

Ego is the latch on a closed mind; it locks the door to lifelong learning. Without lifelong learning and openness, people lose awareness of what reality is and end up making unreal choices.

This in turn consumes a lot of energy and leads to frustration. A closed mind atrophies. So the more open-minded you are, the more you will take from life. When you are open and grateful, you carve blessings in stone and turn your challenges into writings in the sand.

When you are egotistical you pen up your innate talents and darken your light: You edge your gifts out. You also edge out creativity, innovation, love, and wisdom. Ego becomes a stumbling block to purpose, balance, and happiness. It makes you lose your center. It also dissipates your energy. Instead of using it to invite Life Balance, you destroy balance for the satisfaction of your ego.

People with Life Balance see themselves as parts of the ocean and not as individual drops of water. Individual drops soon evaporate or dissipate and are gone. The ocean is permanent. It’s hard to let go of our individuality as a drop of water, because we have treasured it for so long. But when we do let go, transformation happens, taking us closer and closer to our essence.

People with big egos are socially difficult, and their self-centered nature makes them hard to co-operate with. Ironically, their “me-first” arrogance seems to rise from a sense of inadequacy and inferiority. Their exaggerated sense of personal superiority is actually a front to mask their deeply felt sense of inferiority. They are really in denial.

Unfortunately, this results in their inability to be objective or open-minded in dealing with life’s problems. Therefore, they generally don’t succeed in a socially beneficial way. Since they judge success in a very self-centered way, their victories and successes hold meaning only for themselves.

They may have intelligence in abundance, but their thinking is distorted. They use a number of justifications, excuses, and rationalizations to make them appear to be always right, without allowing for any other opinion. In their own minds, according to their own logic, they may be right. But they never provide socially useful solutions to life’s problems.

People with egos are always watching fearfully over their shoulders, worrying that someone might overtake them. The bird that escapes the ego trap has no fear.

Egocentricity is negative and hampers our lives. As Henry David Thoreau put it, “As long as a man stands in his own way, everything seems to be in his way.” It is dangerous when you can’t accept criticism, especially when you believe you’re wrong. People encumbered by big egos get bogged down with the problems they cause at work with their insensitivity and insecurity.

This article is an extract from “Life Balance the Sufi Way” by Azim Jamal and Dr Nido Qubein