DEAR DIARY : Women are not drums to be beaten

Once upon a time, man and woman got married and lived happily ever after through their highs and lows. Today, the plot of relationships has turned into one tragic tale with women as emotional punching bags.

A highly regarded art expert slapped his wife across the face while driving in a busy street as their two children watched from the rear seat. I wonder what could be more astounding; that he beat his wife, or that the children were watching or because he risked all their lives? Bottom line, violence of any nature, but more so domestic-related is plainly unacceptable. This is a true story from an online publication.

 As if reading from the same script, another wife-or girlfriend-was attacked recently in Dar. Thankfully, there were no children in the back seat. But motorists, security personnel, men and women from all walks of life watched curiously from a safe distance at two grown adults tearing themselves apart. If 73 per cent of physical abuse goes unreported, what are the chances that she isn’t the last victim? 

The couple was obviously engaged in a heated argument, the expression on their faces spoke volumes. The lady, firmly holding onto the stirring wheel like it was the last shred of hope, refused to let go as the man pushed on.

When it got heated inside, she sought solace from the nearest, seemingly more private place which was a gas station. He jumped from the co-driver’s seat and went straight for the wheel. She refused to let go when he lost his patience.

Back inside the car, blows were exchanged before she finally let go. For the first time in 10 minutes, the man became aware of the world around him. Embarrassed or proud maybe, he banged his doors close and drove off. The time was approximately 7 am according to the narrator of this story, a good friend of mine who hails from the country governed by the newly-elected oldest African president. It is tragic, almost epidemic that violence is taking over lives, at work, home, in traffic even in Parliament. But every epidemic has its tipping point, and to fight an epidemic you need to understand the tipping point for an individual who is motivated to act violently.

I really can’t for the life of me understand why a man would ever hit a woman, whatever the provocation. Of all the arguments and theories out there, the most annoying is that men have greater levels of testosterone than women. This argument, in my humble opinion, is rot. What about men who don’t beat their partners, what do they have?

Twitter@queeniesaina