Less noise please, 2025 MP is here!

By Wa Muyanza

At this grocery where you’ve just arrived, the table nearest to the perimeter hedge is occupied by three guys and two girls. The table is full of bottles - dozens of bottles that are, like, fighting for space!

The noisiest guy at the table is Papaa Polo, a well known dalali in our neighbourhood. He greeted me very loudly upon my arrival, speaking to me in a vernacular that only him and I understand. He informs me that, today is siku za mavuno: a day of bumper harvest.

While pointing discreetly to one of the table’s occupant who has a lush beard, he says to me that “this guy is a minerals trader in A-Town, who has come to Dar to have good time with his friends here.”

In case you didn’t know, A-Town is a moniker for Arusha City. Indeed, this northern Bongo Tourism Circuit has a city status. Arusha is also called Jiji la Maraha, meaning, a city where having good time is the norm. Lots of drinking, nyama choma and general clubbing.

That shouldn’t be surprising, for the city is also the headquarters of the East African Community, an economic bloc of seven nations, including the DR Congo which recently joined it.

So, this bearded fellow from the mining city is here, and if Papaa Polo is to be believed, the guy arrived in Dar with more money than a train can carry! The Arusha man, clearly, wants his comrades here to enjoy some of his minerals-generated cash. What a nice guy!

Papaa is doing what drinkers with empty pockets normally do: singing praises of the main benefactor to the table. Chawa, we call such fellows. From where you’re seated, you hear him suggest that Madevu (the name I assign to the minerals man) should stand for Parliament in 2025.

“Mama (President) Samia will be looking for a fresh crop of young and visionary MPs… You’re such kind of person, more so because you’ll go to Parliament not to meet the needs of your stomach like others, since you already have money. You’ll be there to serve the people only!” says Papaa while patting Madevu’s shoulder.

It’s all hogwash, of course. But, since everybody is somewhat drunk - even as more beers keep coming, courtesy of Madevu - they all nod in agreement, chanting, “Kweli! Kweli!”

Madevu isn’t talking much. Why should he, anyway? When you’re carrying a fat wallet, you don’t need to talk much. However, whenever he opens his mouth, everybody listens with rapt attention. And: surprise, surprise! At one stage, Papaa - of all people - walks at high speed to the counter and orders the akaunta, who doubles as the resident DJ, to minimise the music volume.

“People want to talk…Our friend from Arusha has big things to tell us, and we all want to hear him speak. Reduce the noise or he’ll walk out of this bar with all of us!” says Papaa. The music volume goes down immediately.

Whoever said money is power must have known what he was talking about!