What to do when your marriage is hanging by a thread
By Amani Kyala
The Pyramids of Egypt are a wonder of the ancient world that continue to surprise the world. Their Construction was indeed one of greatest endevours ever.
Each of the main three pyramids on the outskirts of Cairo has been made of millions of blocks of stone, and each weighed between 2.5 and 15 tonnes. In days without lifting machines, how millions of these super heavy stones were carried or lifted remains a mystery.
Surprisingly making a marriage work looks like the pyramids mystery. The following practices can unlock the marriage mystery in relationships hanging by a thread:
Practice patience: Yes, your relationship might be in serious trouble; but you can learn to be a patient person. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You're slow to anger and choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper.
No one wants to be around an impatient person because it causes you to overreact in an angry, foolish and regrettable way. Anger toward a wrongful action spawns new wrongs of its own. Patience stops problems in their tracks, clearing the air and stops foolishness from whipping its scorpion tail all over the room.
Patience is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing emotions to control you. Lack of patience turns a home into a battlefield. But patience understands that everyone fails, therefore chooses to give someone more time to correct their mistakes that they actually deserve.
Practice kindness: Kindness is love in action, everyone wants to be around a kind person; it makes a person likable. Kindness makes you gentle in the way you treat your spouse and others; you become helpful, meeting the needs of others. So be kind and you'll move from the danger zone.
A kind person is willing, cooperative and flexible instead of being reluctant and stubborn. As a kind person, you greet first, smile first, forgive first and serve.
Practice giving in: Yes your marriage is in trouble but unless one of you starts giving in, the same issues will keep popping up constantly. Defending our rights and opinions is a foundational part of human nature and make-up even though it's a harmful habit that steals away time and productivity.
Practice honour: To honour someone means to give them respect and high esteem; making them worthy and special. You avoid foul language instead you practice courtesy and politeness. You give your spouse full attention not talking to them from behind the newspaper or with one eye on television.
Even when honour goes unreciprocated, keep honouring your mate in the same way. You tell your spouse that despite their failures, sins, mistakes and faults - you still choose to love and honour them.
Finally, acknowledge that there is a problem that needs fixing. Practice the above and avoid wrong buffering like hiding in work, children or hobbies. Counseling is totally helpful.
Amani Kyala is a Counselor, Teacher and Writer, [email protected] , +255 626 512 144
