Of kitchen ‘party ceremony’ and ‘a children’
What you need to know:
- All you’ve to do is to take a little more time and think a bit harder whenever you feel like you’re stuck. Or, since you’re hardly ever alone in the newsroom as you pen your story, ask the colleague seated next to you.
For sure, those of us who slog for the Bongo English press have (or should be having) enough vocabulary to say what we need to say without boring our esteemed readers with repetitions.
All you’ve to do is to take a little more time and think a bit harder whenever you feel like you’re stuck. Or, since you’re hardly ever alone in the newsroom as you pen your story, ask the colleague seated next to you.
Now look at what a colleague says in a story appearing in the tabloid that’s sister to the huge and colourful broadsheet of December 8, in a story entitled “Competition vital in resource exploitation.” He says in his intro:
“Former Prime Minister Fredrick (sic) Sumaye has urged African leaders to put in place competitive strategies to control exploitation of NATURAL RESOURCES instead of blaming foreign investors scrambling for African (sic) NATURAL RESOURCES…”
A little extra thinking could lead to a rewrite that would eliminate one “NATURAL RESOURCES” expression and replace it with another. That’s all we can say.
There was another case of repetitiveness in the Wednesday, December 9 edition of the tabloid that is close to this columnist, thanks to a caption scribbler who says, in part:
“… More than 50 people were educated about family planning METHODS whereas 35 women opted for various METHODS.”
See? The word “method” is used twice in the short caption. We’d rather the caption scribbler replaced one “method” with say, “APPROACH.”
You need to understand the political system in which you operate , otherwise you risk being a conveyor of misinformation instead of information! In a story appearing on Page 4 of the tabloid we cite above, entitled “Legislature needs own body to set pay scales – MPs”, the scribbler says:
“The MP also urged opinion makers to take note of the fact that to be a Member of Parliament involved being an official of the government …”
Really? Well, Freeman Mbowe, for instance, who is an MP (Hai – Chadema), is certainly not an official of the government, given that he’s the Leader of the Official Opposition in Parliament. In any case, even governing (ruling) party MPs aren’t officials of the government unless one is, say, appointed minister.
As we say, you cannot be too careful when you’re committing your message to paper, for if you goof and the stuff goes to the press and ends up on the news vendor’s the next day, you’re done!
In the tabloid that’s closely linked to this columnist (December 9 edition), there’s a picture for which the caption scribbler writes:
“Amina Ali, a disabled CHILDREN who LIVES in Tanga presents her views…”
We are certain our colleague set out to a say: “…a disabled CHILD (not children).”
Still in the same title we cite immediately above (Monday, December 10 edition), where an artist headlines his cartoon thus: “52nd years of independence”. Nope, it is simply “52 years of independence” or, if you like: “52nd independence anniversary”.
Captions, contrary to what readers might think, are of the newsroom gatekeepers called sub-editors’ waking nightmares! Why? It’s a bit complicated, so just take our word for it and read the one below, which featured on Page 6 of Bongo’s senior-most broadsheet of Wednesday, December 11: It reads:
“The motorist above (sic) violates road regulations by not putting on a helmet in addition to letting his passenger sit ON TOP of A LUGGAGE…”
Sit on top? Our reader, one HM of Segerea, who drew our attention to this one, sees Kiswahili influence at work – in which we say “kukaa juu ya…” How about “a luggage”? Nope, again, because “luggage“ is an uncountable noun, so it can’t be preceded by the indefinite article.
Our rewrite: “The motorist above violates road regulations by not putting on a helmet in addition to letting his passenger sit ON THE LUGGAGE…”
Finally, another gem, if you wish, from a Page 4 story in the Wednesday, December 11 edition of Bongo’s senior-most broadsheet, entitled, “Woman dies at kitchen party”. Says the scribbler in the intro para:
“Three people have died in separate incidents. The deaths … include that of a woman who passed away at a kitchen PARTY CEREMONY at Lamada Hotel…”
The word “ceremony”, says the reader who tipped us on this one, is quite unnecessary for basically, it means the same thing as “party”.
Ah, this treacherous language called English!
