Understanding the ego

The ego does not, cannot live in the present, because the present is real and the ego is false -- they never meet.

~ Osho

The ego is a façade or persona projected by our mind. When an infant opens its eyes to the world, he first becomes aware of the other, most likely his mother or caregiver. It is his first experience. Till then there is no concept of self. He is simply consciousness. Gradually his sense of independent self starts to develop in comparison to others. This comparison then gives rise to a feeling of separation or distinctness from the rest of the world, which is called the ego.

In nature, this feeling was essential to protect oneself from dangers like wild animals etc. However, as humans have evolved, our preoccupation with our ego has heightened. Instead of using it as a tool for day-to-day functioning, it has become the very basis of our sense of self.

And since the very premise of ego is protection, it feeds on fear-based emotions like judgment, comparison, jealousy or insecurity in relation to others. The ego derives its very identity and validation through its attachment. This attachment may be in the form of people or possessions.

Since the ego is a mind projection, there is no way to physically remove it. The only way to break this illusion is by growing in self-awareness. When we start to become aware and assured of our own presence independent of others, this light of self-awareness starts to obliterate the ego, just as light dispels darkness.

So instead of trying to eliminate the ego, simply observe it like you watch a movie. Don’t get immersed into its dramas or passion pleas by either regretting the past or worrying about the future. Remain detached and focus on what you can do best in the present moment. Once you start becoming alert and responsive to the present moment, the stranglehold of the ego will begin to weaken its hold on you.

Sooner or later, we often run into people or situations where the ego becomes a major roadblock affecting both your mutual productivity and sense of calm.

The key is to function from a place of self-awareness. You are probably wondering that if the problem lies with the other person, then why am I suggesting to you to change. Because the other person is a mirror and whatever we like or dislike about them is a reflection of what actually needs attention within us.

Here are a few ways to work this out:

1. Accept the others as they are – We can try to convince people to change, however we cannot expect it.

2. Find out why – Egotistic behaviour is often a front for deeper emotional issues like resentment, insecurity or feeling undervalued. Sometimes kindness and patience can go a long way.

3. Stay objective and purposeful – Keep your eye on your goal and resist getting pulled into arguments and small talk that do not serve your purpose. seeking drama.

4. Do not tolerate bad behaviour – If people persist in arguing or behaving rudely, stop the discussion. Refuse to continue unless they are able to watch their language or tone. If necessary walk away.

5. Inspire good behaviour – We all thrive on acknowledgment and appreciation and egotists even more so.

6. Be authentic – Authenticity is a force of nature which few can ignore or undermine for long, especially egotists, because they operate from a place of inferiority or superiority, both of which are inauthentic.