Hi, I am a mother of two boys, the first is eight and the other is five. They attend the same school. My problem is that the first born is badly behaved whereas the second one is very selfish that he does not want to share ordinary things like toys with his friends , this worries me a lot.
How to behave can be difficult to teach to children. This is a long-term job for parents if they want their kids to have good manners. As a parent, you need to keep an eye on every sign of bad behavior they show and disapprove these acts.
Children are usually active by nature and have so much spirit in them. They tend to be impulsive in their actions, thus, creating some habits that parents do not think are good in other people’s view. They tend to do things which they easily observe from other people or from other children. They are fond of “mimicking”. So, in teaching them social skills, you also need to be a good example for them. In addition to that, everything in the eyes of a child is right. You will know the parents’ personality by looking at their children.
Setting some boundaries is the best thing to do in dealing with behavior. Make sure they know you approve or disapprove an act. And when you see them acting the wrong way, let them know immediately. Well, on the other side, you do not want your children to see you as a mean person who is negative about all the things they do. If you impose too much strictness, the child might feel you are torturing him with rules.
The child will then respond unfavourably if they feel too reprimanded. For sure, they will not learn the situation. Instead, they feel discouraged. To avoid this, you must make it fun for your child to cultivate good behavior. You can do this by playing a game with them about good behavior.
Naturally, children have this reluctance in sharing. This trait of being able to share is quite a tough job to teach kids, most especially when he is the only child in the family. You will expect that he is not fond of sharing for there are no other kids around except him. So, you may want to teach kids about sharing at a very young age. Try to persuade him to share his toys while playing with his brother or sister, other people, or even you. Make it a habit to let the child play with others, or even outdoors, so it would make learning how to share easier.
In addition to that, you may even arrange an activity that involves the idea of having good social skills and behavior.
One suggestion for this is board game activities. The children will then ask for some assistance in understanding the rules, take turns in playing the game, and ask for permission before doing something.
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What these kids could see from adults, are what they perceive are good and right. For your child to be well mannered, expose him to adults who always behave well, encouraging him to act in the same way.