There was a book written with that title awhile back and to me, it served to create the illusion that men and women are polar opposites in terms of species and have little hope of ever really understanding each other.
What this author did not realize is that men as individuals are very different from each other. You cannot start an argument with “Men are all ……” and not look ignorant, because all men aren’t the same.
The same is true with women. Not all women are alike. What makes each person wonderful is that they are individuals. They each have their own loves and hates, hopes and dreams.
I know this looks hopeless. If all women are different individuals with different tastes and ideas, how in the name of all things Holy can you learn to talk to each and every one of them? Fear not! What I am about to share with you is a secret. It is the secret of how to talk to anyone no matter who they are and to build interest and ultimately love with them.
Look past the façade and see the real person beneath it.
Underneath the clothing of skin and bones, we are perfect people. We have crappy baggage and things in our past that haunt us but these things are not us and we know that.
No one likes to be reminded of the bad parts of themselves or their painful past. What we are most proud of is who we are innately. We are most proud of the perfect person underneath. When you talk to a woman (or a man or a child) look for the perfect person and talk to him or her.
In some people it is easier to see this perfect person than in others, and in some it is so hidden by strange pseudo personalities and other weird baggage that it is almost absent. If the person you are talking to makes it too hard to access that perfect person underneath, move on.
Find someone who doesn’t have as much baggage. And whatever you do, don’t waste your time talking to pseudo personalities. They just aren’t worth it.
Take the time to build common ground and understanding.
Practice this skill. Go to the supermarket or somewhere where you will have to interact with people. When you get to the check out, find something you like about the checkout person.
I find that women love jewelry and take time and effort to choose and wear pieces that look nice. If you find a piece of jewelry on them and you comment favorably to them about it, you will be met with the person looking up and seeing you and not some nameless, faceless person.
They will automatically start feeling a little better about you.
Let the person talk about herself.
This is the easy part. You don’t have to be dazzling or brilliant. All you have to be is a good listener and respond with things that are pertinent to the subject at hand. It really is a piece of cake.
For example, you have just commented favorably on a piece of jewelry (or a sweater or scarf) and the conversation has started.
Generally they will tell you a little bit about the piece. “Oh, my mom bought it for me for my birthday!’ You then smile and say “What a great mom you have!” or something that you know she will agree with.
Resist with all your might the impulse to start talking about yourself. This conversation is all about her. If you keep this up each time you go through the checkout line, you will find that soon you are friends.