What is the age limit in relationships?

Friday November 10 2017

Diamond Platnumz with Zari Hassan the mother of

Diamond Platnumz with Zari Hassan the mother of his two children PHOTO | FILE 

By Paul Owere

Dar es Salaam. Age has been a very contentious subject in this part of Africa lately, once it was a symbol of wisdom as age-set was a key element in societal issues.

Examples from neighbouring Uganda does not suggest that any longer, they don’t want leaders who are above 75 years of age, no wonder it is a debate that no one can tell which way it will go.

But this should be a story for the serious guys, we are consumers of light stuff thrive on gossip, for we just can have enough.

And just like some people have put it, I also have a feeling that this obsession with age is rather discriminatory and quite inconsiderate at some of the forces at play.

Last week the story that rocked the entertainment world was the Irene Uwoya and Dogo Janja marriage, the only reason why society was so gripped with this story was not about the success or the failure of the marriage. It was rather because of the age difference.

Men have always married women very many years their junior and to most showing off pretty little thing (PYT) is a conquest that often celebrated with pride and she is the trophy.

Women on the other side they risk being labeled as cougars, sugar mummies and all sorts of nasty names but this has not stopped today’s woman to define her taste for finer things.

It is rather confusing whether it is the sweet faced young men who are chasing after the grown woman or the other way around but from the look of it they seem to have room for one another.

Older men must a very worried lot, for what was once their reserved space has been taken over and the noise is rather deafening.

Women have turned tables, and there is every reason to be worried about that young lad hanging around the Madame, he is not just the errand boy he could well take your place!!!

Most folks who gone that route admit that it is just not the same, as older women tend to understand their younger spouses better than men

Bongo Flava cases

In our world of Bongo Flava this is not new one of the most successful Bongo Flava artiste of this era is in a relationship with a woman eight years his senior but that hasn’t stopped the relationship to flourish.

Just like Dogo Janja and Irene, Diamond’s relationship with socialite Zari Hassan started off as some project, it was later to unfold right before our eyes that it was more than just art. They have plenty to show for it, business deals that they have struck together and above all the two children and maybe more is yet to come.

Diamond was picking from where he had stopped with former beauty queen Wema Sepetu who was also a couples of years older. Word from the grapevine has it that they never said goodbye!

Wema replaced him quite fast with another younger man Idris Sultan who had just won the Big Brother Africa 2014 jackpot of $300,000 and there was even a rumour of miscarriage.

Then there was once upon a time the Nuh Mziwanda and Shishi baby aka Shilole affair which never ended well, as the squabbles took its toll.

Shilole has since gone on to make other conquests and Mziwanda moved on to a marriage that failed rather miserably.

It seems this virus has a way of getting into the WCB fraternity, dancer Mose Iyobo and crooner Harmonize were not left behind in the chase.

In his early days as he sought his balance in Bongo Flava Hermonize found himself in the arms of Bongo movies actress Jacqueline Wolper, they were inseparable and seemed to be destined for the dreamland.

This was not to be! It was one that fell flat on the face; the singer went on to compose a song- ‘Nishachoka’. Can you Imagine- he was a bad loser, not graceful in loss! Another case of that really got tongues wagging was the relationship between Aunty Ezekiel and WCB dancer Iyobo, though they seem to be coasting freely, there are some who are not comfortable with the numbers.

But why?

In most cases the women who go for these young lads are usually in positions of power economically, just like the men they make the call.

In most cases the women who shy away from such liaison are usually wary of the numbers. There is always the ‘boy toy’ remark, mostly coming from men of the woman’s age which is a threatening aspect to most women.

And as one insider says: Older successful men are used to being in control of a woman, and that doesn’t sit well with modern women, Younger men have grown up with working women and have worked for female bosses, so they’re more likely to treat women equally.

“When you’re an ambitious woman, it’s very difficult — you either have to subsume what you wanna do for somebody else, or live with the struggle to fight your partner on top of business survival, and it’s a very unhealthy relationship,” Nicole Wipp tells the New York Post.

Nicole a 45-year-old attorney and entrepreneur found a perfect match in her husband, Marcus Sutherland, a 33-year-old paramedic.

“Dating somebody younger than myself, there’s an acceptance of ambitious women — it’s more normalised.”