THE CULTURE BEAT : Why do arranged marriages still exist in this era?

With the continuous rise of divorce rates all over the world, it is not surprising that people are now looking at arranged marriages as a possible way of meeting and keeping their life partners.

We now have a distinction between the old-age arranged marriages and the new age, semi-arranged marriage which Ravi Patel, director of a film/documentary Meet the Patels, describes the type of marriage arrangement he had when finding a partner.

The older version of arranged marriages, something we are more commonly aware of, was mostly about the parents, the family and what they can benefit from your union either monetarily or status-wise.

We know that in Tanzania arranged marriages of this sort still exist with children being forced into marriage even before they are ready, mostly so that their dowry can go into helping their family.

It is such kinds of marriage that have a lot of us looking down on the whole idea of arranged marriages and yet when done the right way, with both partners being the right ages, arranged marriages may actually work better than non-arranged ones.

The new age arranged marriages are not that much different from the old age, except that the parties involved have a say in whoever they want to marry.

Basically, your parents, or family, suggest men or women that they think may be suitable for you, but you get to choose out of the available options which one you want among them.

Now the selection criteria would work just like the way it would with normal dating, you can get to go on dates with this person, hang out with this person and basically get to know them and see if you can really spend the rest of your life together.

The only difference between this and the normal dating process is the assurance that you are both working towards the same goal: marriage. Ravi Patel’s parents in an interview on the film said that parents often have their child’s best interest at heart. With that they are able to choose a partner best suited for their child as they know what his interests are, they know his beliefs and his plans for the future, thus when searching for a wife for him, they will make sure that they choose someone who fits the criteria.

One of the things Mr Patel (senior) had to say when questioned about the whole idea of love was, “I’m not sure how much love is left in the marriage after there is so much used before!”

According to him, with arranged marriages, there was no love before the marriage, and thus, the partners spend the rest of their lives learning each other and finding ways to love each other, which according to them is much more exciting.