Fabulously fixing marriage, not Airfix models

Adam and Naomi have been married for 30 years and are both in their 60s now. Their children have grown and flown the nest. After the nest became empty, Naomi was so encouraged.

She thought they'd get to know each other again after long years of childrearing. To her disappointment, her husband, Adam, seems more interested in making model airplanes than in making love.

Naomi thinks she's not an idiot or an excessively romantic robot, but she didn't expect that as soon as the last grown-up child had departed, they would fly into each other's arms and embark on a non-stop obsession with video games or Airfix models.

Unfortunately, Adam is so obsessed with the Airfix models, but the empty nest shouldn't be empty. In a good marriage, marital happiness during the child-free season should significantly escalate. But how can an empty nest be full of fun and excitement?

Cultivate a child-like spirit: Naomi's right, empty nest is time to know each other again while rediscovering each other. In old age, a boy and a girl are now married again. Satisfaction, tolerance, forgiveness, and appreciation should dominate.

Cultivate friendship: During this time, friendship becomes sweeter and sweeter, and this is what Naomi is longing for. It's time to talk and listen to each other; that's why God gave us two ears! One is to hear what someone says, and the other is to hear what the person means.

An empty nest can pose a real opportunity to rekindle friendship, which is the foundation of marriage. Good spouses are friends, not foes, but if they fail to reconnect like Naomi and Adam, there can be a danger of embarking on loneliness.

Naomi is also likely to start making frequent calls to her married daughters and sons. She keeps recalling how she used to shop in the grocery store while surrounded by children who filled the cart with what they wanted.

Cultivate dedication and desire: During this time, an old couple can take time to enjoy nature and laughter while at the same time deepening emotional intimacy and rekindling romance.

There’s an unprecedented opportunity to nurture relationships by dedicating time and energy to another dimension of personal growth. This can include pursuing dormant hobbies and exploring new interests.

Adam needs to make the transition to a new lifestyle because, when children depart, household dynamics change. He needs to significantly cut his Airfix model innovation time.

He needs time with Naomi in either swimming, watching movies, dating, gardening, talking, or walking; this is how you deal with complex empty nest feelings of loss, freedom, and opportunity.

Finally, Adam and Naomi should reduce work and family conflicts and, at the same time, give themselves a new chance to reconnect with each other.

This will improve the quality of their marriage, rekindle interest in each other, and utilise the newfound time well.

Amani Kyala is a counsellor, writer, and teacher. Phone: 0626 512 144