Mary: Resilience can define your success

Dar es Salaam. Women need to develop the ability to be resilient because it is an important attribute that decides if a woman advances professionally or gets passed over for career opportunities.

Because everyone has their uniqueness, some women are born resilient while others need to learn things that can add something to their strength.

Vice president of the Public Relation Society of Tanzania (PRST), Mary Hospicia Kafyome, narrates that women need to have resilience and be strong enough not to lose sight of their vision.

42-year-old Mary Hospicia Kafyome describes herself as a committed and daring woman, despite the challenges she encountered through primary and secondary school. She has never been scared to unveil her potential in the spotlight because of her self-belief.

She has an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from St Augustine University of Tanzania (SAUT) where she majored in public relations, a Masters degree in Mass Communication. She is also a member of Tanzania Media Women Association (TAMWA) and member of the Media Institute of Southern Africa (MISA Tanzania).

In November 2021, she was elected as the Vice president of Public Relations Association of Tanzania PRST and also works as a lecturer of mass communication at Tumaini University (TUDARCo) in Dar es Salaam.

Kafyome is one of those women who never says no when it comes to opportunities which is why she is a firm believer in why a woman’s ability to be resilient and face her fears is going to help introduce her at top management and influential levels.

“As an orphaned girl, my life was not smooth. I went through challenges but in all situations, I was resilient and I always told myself that I am not supposed to give up. This voice kept reminding me every time I wanted to give up,” says Kafyome.

“I’m here today because of perseverance and having the audacity to do what I believe is right, where my passion lies. I vowed to expose myself and show my potential, that’s why I joined TUDARCo and all other professional settings within my line of vision,” she says.

She also was among the first people to advocate for the reestablishment PRST and cooperated well with former PRST leadership in most activities and conferences. She acknowledges her personal commitment and daring personality as the reasons she finds herself in leadership positions today.

Every child is born with dreams and imagination which can help guide them as they grow into impactful citizens. Kafyome used to imagine herself as a woman leading and motivating others. This motivation was further encouraged by her mother.

“By profession my mother was a primary school teacher. She used to tell me that I could become anything I wanted to be. At first, I wanted to be a TV and Radio presenter, then trainer and facilitator of seminars. As a result, I find myself a teacher, facilitator and trainer of media and public relations courses locally and internationally,” narrates Kafyome.

In the journey to becoming leaders in top management, challenges always make women lose hope and stop believing in themselves. Sometimes this is also fuelled by the loss of support from their relatives and those closest to them.

According to Kafyome, losing her mother was a big challenge because she was her pillar and sole provider. Despite having an aunt who then took responsibility for her, relatives wanted to marry her off at a young age but she took all those challenges as training and preparation for her future.

“I faced some violence and harassment from my relatives and eventually had to leave and start my own life. I do not treat these challenges as negative experiences; rather as key lessons that have made me who I am today,” she explains.

She developed her own philosophy of life and often strives to be a mother, a sister and a guardian to many young people, particularly those who are marginalized, vulnerable and excluded in the society.

Her leadership style constitutes many elements of transformational leadership which came about as a result of her mother’s insistence in involving her in the planning of family issues.

“As a young girl, my mother used to seek my opinion in whatever she wanted to do. As a result, this became my way of life and leading. I like to transform structures and other obstacles that impede others from flourishing,” clarifies Kafyome.

She therefore believes that for people to transform their lives, they must actively participate in the activities that affect them daily. Thus, she regards herself as a transformational leader who encourages participation and lets people express themselves.

In explaining the right steps to empower girls and women, Kafyome refutes to say ‘empower a person’; rather it is to create empowering conditions for people to realize their potential and reach it. “I believe this should start from family level,” she adds.

She adds that parents and communities are supposed to treat and perceive girls as capable individuals who deserve to participate on an equal footing with boys. There should also be room to organize and give material support, motivation and a chance to pursue their dream without being coerced.

According to Kafyome, things that cause the lack of diversity in top leadership in most organization is the gender gap and inequality between men and women. These gaps and inequality cut across issues of education, economy, politics and culture.

“For years, women have been lagging behind in education systems. There has been inequality in school enrolment between female and male students. As a result, this has affected the whole system. Thanks to various initiatives by the government and non-governmental organizations to address issues of gender inequality and girl child empowerment, there is hope,” narrates Kafyome.

President Hassan now takes major strides to ensure gender diversity in her cabinet and other managerial positions so we see a ripple effect in the community. We now see there has been an increasing enrolment of girls in school and more women are taking leadership positions.

“Women also need to show strength and commitment in whatever situation we are being tasked if we have any hope of further changing this situation for good,” she explains.

“No one will promote us to if we cannot perform well within our current responsibilities, so it begins with us. This however, requires women to work together and support one another instead of competing with each other,” says Kafyome.

In managing time with family and work, Kafyome explains that it is a big challenge because it needs commitment and hard work. However, if you have the right support, it is easier to balance and accomplish.

“I am thankful to have an understanding and supportive husband as I work to advance my career. I make sure that my weekends are always reserved for my family. Thus, being able to find ways of balancing between work and family has helped to maintain my family’s unity and prosperity,” narrates Kafyome.

“Women need to believe that they can be anything they want to be. Do not limit yourself; be focused; set goals; have a strong sense of humanity and always remember that foundations for future success are built when you are young,” she says as she advices the many young girls and women who are now looking at building their careers towards leadership and managerial positions someday.