Miserable Marriage: You'll wish you'd never met Molly

What you need to know:

  • It's an irony that Xanthippe produced Socrates, the philosopher, and Molly produced John Wesley, the legendary Methodist preacher.

One biographer stated that Molly Wesley, along with Xanthippe, Socrates' wife, and Job's wife in the Bible, were some of the worst wives in all history.

Socrates claimed that Xanthippe made him a philosopher, and Wesley became a tremendous preacher. Interesting! These wives made their husbands have heartbreaking, tear-jerking, and sheepish glances.

It's an irony that Xanthippe produced Socrates, the philosopher, and Molly produced John Wesley, the legendary Methodist preacher who preached 42,000 sermons. What's wrong with Molly?

Physical abuse: John Hampson, Sr., a witness to Wesley's life, once bumped into the disturbing scene where John was being dragged across the room by a handful of hair by his wife Mary Vazeille (nickname Molly); evidence shows the two were physical in handling their arguments and differences.

Accusations, jealousy, and mean behaviour: In their reunion moments in England, John and Molly often clashed violently. Molly accused John of sending affectionate letters to other women, and when he refused to change, Molly started accusing him of adultery. In her own words, she called down upon him all the curses from Genesis to Revelation.

The truth is that Wesley's long travel periods left his wife feeling jealous and neglected; he spent ample time with other young women at church while Molly was at home feeling lonely and dumped. This scenario eventually became nasty.

The unresolved matter seriously angered Molly; she became mean, sending her husband's secrets to his enemies. She helped them slander John; she fought him by joining his enemies. But we know that for any marriage to thrive, a spouse should always be a friend, not a foe.

Slander and insensitivity: Molly's habits, such as disclosing her husband's secrets to enemies and publicly accusing him of adultery, could only be done by a slanderous and insensitive wife; for sure, Molly was nasty.

However, one historian once said, "If Mary Vazeille was one of the worst wives in all history, then John Wesley was one of the worst husbands in history."

Maybe this was an extreme comment, but it's obvious John was not a good husband. He shared many affectionate moments with young ladies in the church, leaving Molly in limbo.

It's silly and awful that both partners were completely obstinate and stubborn. They wrongly lived in a depreciation room that was lined with their weaknesses and failures.

This room was full of bad habits, hurtful words, and poor decisions written in large letters that covered the wall from one end to another.

Spending time in a depreciation room kills marriages; divorces are plotted in this room, and violent plans are schemed here.

Finally, when worse came to worse, when leaving for a mission trip, John told Molly, "I hope to see your wicked face no more." This time, she left for good. It's true that Molly was wicked, but John had no skills to reverse their miserable relationship.

Amani Kyala is a counsellor, writer, and teacher, 0626 512 144